


Roses and Razors

by Cheerybomb



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Angry Sex, Angst, Awkward Crush, Bad decisions are made, Blood and Gore, Character REALLY needs a hug, Character is a lil muffin, Cillian Murphy would be so disappointed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunk Sex, Dry Humping, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, He can't keep his hands to himself, Innocence, Jealousy, Lets sin together!, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Virginity, Loving Sex, Masturbation, NSFW, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rejection, Sad and Horny, Sex, Sexual Inexperience, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tommy needs a hug, Tommy shelby is a bitch, Tommy wants to keep her safe, Touch-Starved, Writing this is so wrong, but hes a softy, they're idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheerybomb/pseuds/Cheerybomb
Summary: She's a young housemaid working for Thomas Shelby. Since she's worked there she has always stayed out of the way of the Peaky Blinders but ever since Tommy returned from the battle with the Italian mafia it seems that she unfortunately caught his attention. All she wants is to find peace but that doesn't seem to be possible whenever he's around. And now... somehow he has awakened something in her that she never knew she could be.---(Starts at the end of season 4 where Thomas Shelby says he's going to take a "break" from working) There is SPOILERS from every season.
Relationships: Jessie Eden/Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby & Original Female Character(s), Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark, Tommy Shelby/Original Character(s), Tommy Shelby/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 253





	1. “The Holy Mess”

It had been a strange time in Shelby Manor. A hard time for the core of the gang. Revenge had waited poetically to smite at the torn family. After Tommy had barely managed to rescue his family from being hanged there was not much more to salvage. It had left them broken and furious with how calculated Tommy had been with his own bloodline. They refused any contact with him in spite of his cruelty for a year. Polly went mad, reclused to her home brewing fears and superstitions like an old gypsy woman. John and Arthur both retired to cottages in the countryside with their wives to try to live their life away from the violence. Little did it last.

Mr. Shelby had become even more absorbed with his schemes if that was even possible. And whenever he wasn’t in London or Small Heath he returned home to be with his son Charlie. But his actions were hard to ignore, whispers of his promiscuity with glamorous prostiutes floated through the mansion. “I heard Mr. Shelby pays more for the whores who look like his dead wife.” They’d whisper as they scrubbed the floors. Snickers echoing in the house as the staff quietly discussed his depraved activities. 

Then it was the butcher. A spy tried to murder Mr. Shelby in the evening, the maids said his body was left as a demonstration for the Italian mob. It was heard that Luca Changretta sought revenge for lives taken away from him. 

Revenge took John. And promised to drag the rest of them down to where they belonged. To hell where the demons lived. They retreated home to Small Heath and the manor was left under the care of a small trusted staff. For some time the halls of the house remained silent, not that there had been much activity before. It was many months later that there was the word that Tommy had managed to defeat Luca and would be returning soon. The Shelby’s would return to the manor. 

* * *

Rosie swerved through the kitchen. Looking for another whiskey bottle since the one she had brought in 30 minutes ago was almost depleted. _Do they bathe in it!_ She bit her lip in concern she didn’t want to be blamed for a shortage of liquor in _this_ house. 

“Helen, I need Mr. Shelby’s fine whiskey, could you pass a bottle” she called for one of the maids. No answer. She cursed under her breath as she hurried to the cellar. 

Helen sat on the stool beside the whiskey. Her pale lips played with the loose strands of her brown hair as she looked down at the same old letter from the time before. Rosie bit her tongue stopping the insults from spewing from her mouth. “Helen could ya move aside.” The lazy hag stood between her and the booze. Helen raised her brows, her eyes flickering over her before slowly sliding out of her way.

“Sorry deary” she huffed idly, “I received a letter from my Georgy it’s of utmost importance that I write him back, could ya cover ma’ shift for a bit. It’ll only take a bit.” 

“Of. Course.” She said sharply. Rosie took two bottles this time. There was no way that she handle another encounter with that girl tonight just for another bottle of whiskey. She once again swerved pass the cluster of petrified waiters and towards to main room.

She sucked in a breath before entering the room full of blinders. No one gave her a second look as she walked towards the table. The dress she had been told to wear made her feel uneasy. It was barely below her knee. Behind, it had a slit down her back which she covered strategically with her golden hair. Her long mane stood out against the short hairstyles that the Shelby women wore, making it all the more uncomfortable. The strands that usually framed her face in soft waves were pinned into a simple diadem in the back of her head. 

“Oi, Rosie serve me a glass would ya?” She heard Arthurs’s rough voice from across the room. As gracefully as she could, she strode over to him, the whiskey balanced dangerously on the silver platter. She served him a full glass as she already knew that he would want more than a normal man. His eyes roamed over her with interest as she poured the drink. The room boomed with the loud banter of the men. She froze as she felt a tug on a lock of her hair. 

“Rosie, how long has it been since we’ve all last seen ya, eh?” He rubbed his fingers over the strands of her silky hair.

She prayed for dear life that Linda didn’t suddenly appear from the powder room to see this outrageous gesture. “Its been almost two years Mr. Shelby.” 

He seemed almost bothered with the formality. “Just call me Arthur Luv.” He twirled his finger into her hair. His eyes fixed on the golden strands.

“You’ve grown into yourself quite finely since we last saw you, Rosie.” He sighed yearningly. His fingers pulled lightly at her hair. She cursed at how long her hair was sometimes. Always unwanted attention. “Oi Tommy, looky at little Ms. Rosie, How old could she hav’ been last time we were here altogetha?” 

She froze as she felt Mr. Shelby turn to them. Leaving Lizzie to entertain herself. He looked as disinterested as he usually did. He didn’t look at her for more than a mere second as he took a long drag from the cigarette dangling from his lips. Rosie had gotten accustomed to working for the gang, she didn’t fear them, in fact, there were some that she actually believed were kind at heart. But Mr. Thomas Shelby. He always managed to frighten her. It wasn’t the physical threat she feared but the alarming level of intelligence. He was always ahead of the curve not even Polly who was the brains of the operation could reach Mr. Shelby. Rosie could read most people but when she looked at him there was nothing in those haunting eyes. 

“Hmmmph” he dragged. Her face started to burn with embarrassment from the unwanted attention. “Frances brought her in _young_ , Arthur.” His voice showing the slightest bit of scorn towards his brother. “She was about 16 when I hired her. That right Ms.Watson?” Her heart thumped in her chest. Suddenly she wished that she was in the cellar with Helen talking about her supposed lover. 

“I-i’m… Yes, Mr. Shelby. I’m 19 now.” She chewed on her lip until she could taste the tang of blood. Once again she was shocked that he managed to remember such a small thing. She had been very lucky Frances had recommended her to Mr. Shelby. She couldn’t begin to show her gratitude to that sweet woman. 

The silence was achingly slow before his gravelly voice interjected. “Arthur just let the girl go, your wasting my time.” He seemed amused by her discomfort or maybe Arthurs’s spiteful scowl as turned back to talk to Polly who was watching disapprovingly at the oldest brother. Nevertheless he released her almost immediately. 

She nodded her head before quickly retreating to the entrance in case she was needed again. She stood beside Frances who gaped at Rosie as if she had just seen her flash The Queen. 

“Are you bloody mad! Why would you stay so long in that godforsaken room” She whispered a bit too loudly. 

“Well, I just love the leisurely stroll around the gang members maybe get humiliated once or twice, its a thrill.” She snarked and Frances chuckled in amusement as they both returned to silently watch their bosses. 

The night had gone well despite the clear shift in dynamics. It wasn’t the same without John. It wasn’t the same for any of them after rupture they had lived for more than a year. John had always been Rosie’s favorite. Both he and Arthur had always struck up flirtatious conversations. But unlike Arthur, Johns’s comments made her laugh or were sweet enough to make her blush. He had always had a soft spot for her. She was so innocent in his eyes, something he wanted to care for, even if it meant only as a friend. He had always been so enjoyable to be around, a playful spirit that lightened the heavy mood that surrounded their life. But now he was gone. Now she would have to deal with Arthur’s lingering touches by herself. 

When the dishes had been collected and the drunken messes had been sorted. She finally retired to her room hidden in the west wing of the manor. It was small but it was still a kind gesture from Mr. Shelby to allow her to live there free of rent. She was the only maid who permanently lived inside the house. 

But there was still one thing that echoed through her mind as she lay in bed. Before the dinner, Arthur did his unceremonious speech but this time he offered something she thought a man like his brother would never accept. Mr. Shelby accepted by Arthurs’s request that he would take a break. Ease his mind to enjoy his home and his son. Stay. In. His. Home…. No working. No schemes. No razor blades. No guns. No prostitutes, at least not in the home. No double-crossing. Not even a fookin glance a the bloody stocks. Just Mr. Shelby _relaxing_...

“Fookin hell” 

* * *


	2. “Due to Fail”

She awoke at the break of dawn and begun her morning routine. Her room was comically small. It had once been a broom closet wedged in the corner of the west wing but now it was her room… they gave the brooms a bigger room. The door was a foot smaller than her which led to many quarrels between her forehead and the splintery door. Once inside there was a bed on one side wedged tightly under the lowest part of the room and the opposite side the dresser with a cracked mirror. And of course, there was highlight of the room. The bloody bath. The tub had laughably had been screwed into the elevated platform of the room… in perfect view of the window that covered an entire wall in her lovely room. She only bathes at night. 

But she hardly complained. Compared to her life before she was living a luxury. She slid into her uniform. It didn’t fit her quite right. She hadn’t been blessed with the thin figures that the women of today had and coming of age didn’t make it any easier to hide it. The dress didn’t hang from her body as most women did. The dress hugged the swell of her breasts and subtly clung to her waist. But the apron she tied around her waist obscured her figure. She was ready to go.

* * *

The kitchen buzzed with chaos as the staff hurried to make breakfast for one man. He liked his black coffee in his fine china, a slice of lightly toasted bread and cold ham. Dull. But it was strategic. He could eat quickly so he could focus on necessary things. Because eating to him seemed a secondary, unless you counted his hearty diet of fine whiskey and cigs. 

Helen, Edna, and Peggy sat on their stools watching the chaos in front of them. Not even the slightest intention of easing the mess. 

“Little Ms. Rosie!” Helen drawled. Her lackeys giggled beside her. Her lips drew into a bitter smile. “Heard you were dangling yourself in front of Arthur last night.”

Rosie turned to them, biting her lip harshly to avoid responding to Helen’s taunts. “Had some fun last didn’t you? First poor John and now you’ve caught Arthur attention too. Might as well have at it with Tommy while you’re at it.” She wanted to punch her square in the face, knock her ugly fookin teeth down her throat. But Helen had threatened before that she had Mr. Shelby’s trust after 4 years of _work,_ that she would get her fired in an instant with just one complaint.

She wouldn’t risk it. Shes handled worse anyways. “Since you seem so keen on enamoring all of the Shelby men why don’t you take him his breakfast.” She had a thousand things to say that could humiliate Helen but she wouldn’t. _You’ve come too far._

She took the breakfast.

His study was closed. Gently she knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” His voice sounded more annoyed than usual.

She pushed passed the door tentatively, walking towards his desk. She moved cautiously towards him setting the tray in the corner of his desk. As she bent down the slightest bit of cleavage peeked through the buttons of her dress. His eyes accidentally gazed upon her skin before quickly looking away. He had never paid her much attention. She’s was the youngest maid after all. Brought in by Francis three years ago. She lived in one of the rooms in the west wing. Until now he had always pictured her as just a child, nothing of his interest. It was last night that he had noticed how much she’d changed in just a few years. When did she start looking so... _different_. He didn’t recall her growing so quickly into _this._ And well he had no reason to notice, she wasn’t the kind of girl he looked for. He liked his _women_ like he liked his business, straight to the damn point. No waiting, No outings, or little compliments just sex with a woman who knew what a man’s needs were. But then again… her skin looked so soft, lips so red… _God help me,_ _shes biting those lips._ He grunted as he adjusted himself in his chair. He wouldn’t allow himself to act on it. He knew that she wouldn’t refuse him if he tried. 

So young, too young for him to look at her like that, let alone fookin Arthur. He was a man. He could just find someone else for his needs. 

“Is there anything else you need Mr. Shelby.” He snapped from his train of thought by the sound of her sweet voice. _Fookin hell wheres Lizzie when you need her._

“Yes Ms. Watson, would you sit down.” She didn’t have an inkling of what was going on behind that expressionless face. What could he possibly want? 

She sat down as he lit his second cigarette. Hesitantly, she spoke first. “I prefer Rosie i-if you don’t mind Mr. Shelby I don’t really use my last name.” He felt old being called that by her. But it was better to keep it that way. 

“Well, Rosie, this was supposed to be directed towards Helen but since she clearly has no interest in serving my breakfast this task will now be assigned to you.” He knew that it wasn’t the wisest choice but then again she was so soft when she entered the room, Helen is far too loud far too early in the morning for his liking. 

“As you are already aware I am taking a vacation, so it’s unnecessary to eat at my desk. For that reason, it is now your duty to take my breakfast to my bedroom at 8 o’clock sharp.” He despised the dullness of this vacation but he was being forced by his entire family to unwind. Tragic.

Her brows raised in shock before nodding in agreement. “May I be dismissed, Mr. Shelby?” She rolled that bloody lip between her teeth again. “Yes, I have some business to attend before I can take a break. Tell Frances that I’ll be home tomorrow at midnight.” As she stood he almost instinctively reached to open the door. 

She stood by the door. She was interested, what business would it mean this time? She couldn’t help but ask. “If you don’t mind me asking what business will you be doing?” She curiously looked up to his taller figure who hovered above her shorter frame as he reached for the door. Something in him turned sour. _Just a damn girl._

“That Ms. Watson, is none of your **fucking** business.” 

* * *

“He hates me!” She shouted from inside the stable. Edwin laughed as he tossed more hay into the stall. She was lying face down in the hay, tears wetting her pink cheeks. She had no words to describe what had happened yesterday morning. _None of your fucking business._ She winced at how awfully poisonous those words had sounded. He didn’t apologize. He let her out and shut the door in her disheartened little face. Later that morning he had already left. 

“Well your in for a treat tomorrow morning,” he tried to suppress a giggle. 

“Noooo. I don’t want to see him ever again. Edwin take my place.” She turned over to look at him pleadingly. Her green eyes were shot red. There were very few people she had openly cried to, Edwin was most definitely one of them. 

He kneeled down to hold her hands, “I’m sorry my little Cherry but I rather pick up horse shit with my bare hands than have to wake up that man.” She whined dramatically. 

She loved Edwin with all her might. When she had arrived at the Shelby’s Manor three years ago she was paper-thin, weak. The nights were hard in that dark room and she was scared of the nightmares that would plague her mind, fearful she would wake Mr. Shelby. She would sneak into the stables and sleep beside the horses. Edwin caught her but said nothing. One day he brought her a blanket. Then a pillow. And slowly he started to pry the words from her. And when he found out that she was terrified of the darkness of the solitary room he gave her an old lamp. She started sleeping in her room again and they’d been friends ever since. 

He called her Cherry because of her naturally cherry lips and her sweet heart. She loved her pet name and their unbreakable friendship. But damn sometimes she wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face. Especially when he was right.

“I was just curious!” She raised her hands in defeat. 

“Cherry ‘fore you see him let me remind you.” He took a hold of her shoulders and looked into her eyes pressingly. “This man is dangerous, he does things that I do not wish to tell you. For your own sake take care of your self.” 

He looked to the floor. “Men have needs… and your…well your very appealing to people, make sure he doesn’t… push you into something that doesn’t feel right. Trust your instinct Cherry. Especially with men like these.”

She could tell he was scared for her. His brown curls were covering most of his eyes but she could see what he was implying. 

“Don’t worry Edwin, I’ll be careful, I swear on my father’s grave.”

* * *


	3. “Revel in It”

He had arrived at two in the morning. Alfies’ dog wasn’t an easy thing to transport home. It remained in the car with enough sleeping pills in him to knock out a cow. He slid out of her the car with a struggle. A part of him was satisfied that Alfie had been handled. He wouldn't miss Alfie’s treachery and his coarse behavior. But he hadn’t expected it to end like this, he almost regretted pulling the trigger. He was a man of many talents and resources. They shared a similar intellect and Tommy had appreciated that.

“The old bastard just had to go.” He slurred.

He had stopped by a pub. Clearly. In a desolate place, there was no one that recognized him. It was refreshing to act as if he were just a common man even if just for a night. There was a woman. She felt dull in his hands. She was dirty and moaned like a hog. But he still finished, he needed it badly.

 _None of your fucking business._ He cringed.

“I meant fookin keep her at a distance not break her heart.” He growled as he stumbled slightly to the entrance of his home. At first, he didn’t feel anything when he had said it. Just satisfaction. Satisfaction at seeing how quickly she evaporated. He said exactly what needed to be said to keep her from being too kind.

But the whiskey in his blood felt differently. He hated that she stopped smiling. He fookin hated that he could see the hurt in her eyes so clearly. He hated how she ran out the door. What if she cried?

He chuckled as he struggled up the stairs. “Gone soft Tommy?” He stumbled, smacking headfirst into the front stair, his hair becoming even more unruly. He didn’t really care about her or the bruise forming on top of his head, he just wanted to fuck her even though he knew it was wrong. Just once. One long fuck. Agonizingly slow. Memorize every inch of her skin. Feel her pressed against him. Hear her softly moan his name. Taste her warmth… Fuck. He was aching for it.

But what if he did hurt her with his words? She seemed so small next to him. The room felt so much colder without her smile. She had been so frail when she had first arrived. She’s still delicate. She didn’t deserve to be treated the same as the women he dealt with.

Finally, he was at the top of the stairs. He panted for breath suddenly feeling very warm. He took off his tie and vest leaving him with his partly opened shirt spilling from his pants. His eyes landed on his son’s door. He slipped into the room with a struggle as that second bottle of whiskey finally did its full effect. Charlie slept soundly surrounded by his wicker toys. He was such a beautiful boy. Dread nipped at his heart. He only hoped he wouldn’t turn out like his father, a fucking mental case. As quietly as his inebriated body could manage he pulled the blanket back over his baby boy. He sighed in relief as he slid back out leaning against the door like his life depended on it. He glanced toward the hall where Rosie slept. Maybe I should see if she’s alright.

“Wrong way Tommy,” he hummed, spinning towards the right direction. He started to worthlessly trudge to the west wing. He didn’t seem to question himself as he approached the door. All of his reasoning that had told him that this was a massive mistake had dissolved.

The door was smaller than he remembered. Did she really sleep in there? Weren’t there two broom closets? He hesitated. His eyes fixed on the door half expecting it to knock itself. Nothing. He felt like a child again, it had been so many years since he had felt so indecisive. This was embarrassing. He was a Peaky Blinder and he could knock on any bloody door! Knock. Knock. There was no movement. His head rested high above the top of the door, eyes strained on the doorknob. Then he heard her. She made a soft groan from inside the room, it made him pant slightly at thought of hearing that sound over and over again. Just ask if she’s alright. The door opened.

She ducked her head out the small door almost colliding into his chest that had been almost pressed to the door. He moved dumbly out of the way to let her get out. He was at a loss of words as he noticed how truly stupid this decision had been. Her gown was barely even an undergarment. The simple white lace on satin dipped generously into her breasts, the fabric barely reached her mid-thigh. He suppressed a groan. Her face was rosy in embarrassment as she noticed how uncovered she was. Her wavy hair was completely loose as she used it to cover her breasts as they tightened in the cold. Her sweet lips were parted in shock as he stood above her.

“Rosie…” He sighed. He couldn’t remember why he had come.

Her eyes were filled with concern, “Mr. Shelby are you alright you look a bit pale.” He didn’t respond, his face stuck in that empty expression. She reached to touch his forehead to test for a fever.

He shuttered against her touch leaning into her palm. “Your very warm Mr. Shelby, are you sick, should I run you a bath?” His lips parted as he pictured what would happen in that bath. She took a step back suddenly feeling the urge to run back into the safety of her room. But his gaze froze her in her place. His eyes were blazing with an emotion she didn’t recognize. Slowly he leaned down to look directly at her paling face.

“My Rosie…” He stroked a thumb over her jaw. Her brows knitted in confusion.

“Did you cry?” His remark broke the deafening tension. Of all the things he could have said that was probably the worst one his whiskey filled thoughts could think of. She pulled away from his hand, her confusion only getting worse as he looked at the man that stood far to close for comfort.

“Mr. Shelby I don’t underst-” “When I insulted you yesterday morning,” he said. Her eyes widened as she understood. “Oh,” she whispered.

His face leaned into the shell of her ear. “Did I make you cry my Rose?” His voice was pure sultry, making her shiver slightly even though her face burned hot.

“Its fine Mr. Shelby. I-I understand,” His fingertips glided over her arm. His face turned to look at her their noses almost grazing against one another. “I promise I won’t use those words on you again, unless you deserve them.” He hummed but didn’t dare move an inch closer.

She looked at him, her eyes sweetening with his promise. So innocent and trusting. Oblivious to his intentions.

“Thank you.” She said warmly.

He couldn’t stop himself after that smile. His lips collided into hers. Kissing her roughly as if his life depended on it. She tasted even better than he had imagined. It was more addicting than the rush of cocaine. More comforting than opium he inhaled. He groaned into her mouth as his tongue tried to push past her lips. But she wasn’t responsive. He wanted to hear her moan. He wanted her to want him. He easily lifted her up against the wall her legs forcefully wrapped around his waist. The friction on his groin felt achingly good. He descended towards her neck when he felt a push. He stopped to look at her.

She looked betrayed. Her eyes were watery. Her palms were flat against his chest pushing him away. He immediately put her gently on the ground.

“I’m not that kind of girl Mr. Shelby.” She muttered. “I’m sorry if I made you distressed. It’s my fault.” He wanted to continue but the face she made disarmed him. He gave a frustrated sigh as he gazed down at her. She stood there without saying a word. Waiting for him to respond.

“It’s alright Rosie,” he said while brushing the warm tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. “I should have expected you didn’t know how to fuck.” He said coldly, leaving her once again gaping at his quick remark. He stood up nodded a goodnight and headed back to his bedroom.

“Eight o’clock sharp Rosie, don’t be late.” 

* * *

Tommy gritted his teeth as the unresolved tension remained achingly present. He barely managed to make it to his door as he immediately took his member out. He inhaled sharply as he took a hold of his erection. He began relentlessly stroking himself to the thought of Rosie, he growled deep in his chest. It had only lasted a moment but the taste of her lips was still there. His head tilted back in ecstasy as he pumped harder his hips instinctively thrusting into his hands. She had felt so velvety against his hardened body. The way her lips parted in shock, the things he would do with those sweet lips. “F-fuck” he stuttered. His cock throbbing in his hands as he imagined the way she’d moan in his ear. He groaned hard as the planes of his stomach tensed and he reached his aching release. Hot ropes of cum gushed out of his cock as he slowly continued to stroke himself. He panted hard. His head resting against the wall in the exhaustion of his orgasm.

He didn’t know if he would manage to see her every morning without trying to grab her again. She was just a girl, inexperienced, gullible, she couldn’t even do half of what the other women had done with him. But never had a kiss made him lose so much control over himself. It had been many years since he’d lost so much control over a woman.

He dismissed it all. He’s drunk. Got to sensitive for something that is not worth his time. He had all the whiskey and whores money could buy and that’s the life every man wants.


	4. “Flowers and Guns”

She clearly was not going to be late to bring his breakfast. She hadn’t even slept. Her mind couldn’t comprehend what had happened. She started out afraid, afraid he wasn’t well, his body had been scalding hot. But then he called her Rose, my Rosie. His voice was so gentle when he spoke into her ear, something about it made her breath quicken. But then he kissed her. She hated how it had felt. He had pinned her into the wall his hips painfully grinding into her. She was afraid. Her fears had been right, sex wasn’t for women to enjoy, women were just a vessel for a men’s pleasures. It pained her to think that what had happened constantly to her mother was what happened to every woman.

He stole her first kiss. She knew a kiss was not a big deal, especially among the people she worked for but it had been something she had been preserving for so long. She wanted to give all of it away to her first real love. Not a man almost twice her age who she felt nothing for. A man who had berated her for her inexperience. She knew that it could have been worse. But she had never really felt any attraction towards him, not even now. In all honesty, she had never really felt that towards anyone. But he was handsome in his unique way she guessed.

Women seemed to love his cold demeanor. But she wasn’t sure if that was the reason for him possibly being attractive. Because for her the only good thing that had come from him was those sweet nothings he had whispered to her before the whole scene he made. She thought she needed boys like John or Edwin but they had turned more into her family. Her options looked grim. It seemed hopeless, there weren’t any men for someone like her.

* * *

His head was beating painfully, he had taken a hard hit to the fookin staircase. He grunted as he turned his head towards the window. He assessed as to how quickly he had managed to cause so much damage to himself and Rosie's perception of him. He could be a knob when he drank too much but he usually was more controlled than that! It seemed that his vacation had already taken a hard hit before it had even started.

He tried enjoying the morning despite everything that had happened. He could still try to relax. The sun made the whole room shine in golden sunlight. Sun rays painted his chest gold, filling it with warmth. The birds chirped their morning songs. Then that noise, it was still there no matter But he could still hear it. The shovels. The crumble of dirt, exasperated breaths in the smog-filled air. His head felt tight as the sounds only seemed to get worse. He closed his eyes hoping it would disappear in the darkness of his mind.

A small patter of feet echoed somewhere in his mind like a melody, a siren. He followed it, ignoring the pounding in his heart, the echoes of the shovels, the screams, and the bombs. There was so much death, so many souls lost. He was already dead, his soul had already left him in the war. He was a dead man walking. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t try harder to find the light. He felt the light beckoning him from afar. He sprinted towards it reaching into something angelic. Rosie.

His eyes snapped open locking on Rosie, her hair looked like streams of liquid gold against the sun. She placed the dishes neatly on the table by the window before walking out of the room leaving him silently wondering if he was hallucinating her too. She came back seconds later holding wildflowers in a vase placing it down as the final touch.

“Morning Rosie.” She jumped back turning to him before smiling timidly. “Mr. Shelby you’re awake.” The blush on her cheeks spread as she noticed he was barely wearing clothes. “I thought I’d let you sleep in a bit since you’d had a long night.”

He hummed in response. She looked awkward as she stood there, probably still upset from last night. He could just stay quiet about what had happened last night, she certainly would not bring it up unless he wanted it that way. But then again he had nothing better in his schedule to do. Maybe later in the week. She walked over to him with his coffee in hand. She placed it on his bedside and he noticed that she had placed wildflowers there too. The corner of his lips raised slightly. That had probably been the most he had smiled in some time. It felt foreign to him. Maybe these mornings would do him some good.

* * *

“This horse is absolutely beautiful.” Rosie passed the comb through the horse's mane for the millionth time. It’s Mr. Shelby’s favorite horse. And hers. And of course Edwins too. They treated the horse like a god. They debated every day of what the horse could be called since Mr. Shelby had shown no interest in naming the beauty. The black horse was something intimidating and ominous in the eyes of Mr. Shelby. Just another tactic for intimidation. But to the two of them, the horse was a striking beauty. It was impossible to agree on a name.

She glanced at the horse again. Her hands caressing the horse’s dark mane, it was like silk. She wanted a name that suited the horse and Mr. Shelby. Something frighteningly alluring, a name that resounded among the people. The horse’s empty eyes looked into the distance. Stoic as always. Unbothered by her pampering.

“Edwin! I’ve got the perfect name!” She beckoned him over. He ran up to her, his lanky body towering over her like a streetlight. “Just hear me out, okay?” He nodded energetically.

She smiled from ear to ear. She couldn’t have thought of a better-suited name for the horse. Something powerful and elegant. The grand king of the underworld. “Hades! It’s perfect!” He looked at her, dragging his response infinitely longer just to bother her. “Hmmm. Well, Hmmm. I think I’m gonna go with…” She bounced eagerly on her feet.

“No!” He deadpanned. Her excitement was immediately dismissed as he looked at her with a smug grin on his face. “You twat! You’re always so mean to me.” She pouted. Looking to the floor like a dejected child, mumbling curses under her breath as she turned away from him. He moved in closer. Reaching to give her a gentle squeeze on her shoulder. But before he could she grabbed his arm and swung the shocked boy straight into the wall of the stable. She giggled loudly as smacked right into the wall.

He immediately flipped back and stared her down with a malicious smile. “Your asking for it Cherry.” He started to dramatically pace towards her but she broke into a sprint before he could grab a hold of her. Nervous laughter spilling from her lips as she tried to run away. “Edwin no!” She squealed as she dodged his hands. She barely took more than a few steps before he had already caught her. He laughed loudly, his hazel eyes brimming with mischief.

“Edwin no” she warned, “not again!” her voice squeaked. He slung her over his shoulder heading towards the stack of hay. Rosie wriggled but he wouldn’t let go as he cackled loudly at her protests. “Oh, Edwin Please! My hair will get all knotted, y-you moron.” He sent her flying into the haystack a yelp escaping her lips as her tiny form sank deep into the prickly hay.

He jumped on top of her and began mercilessly tickling at her ribs. “Edwin no!” She gasped as he kept her pinned to the hay. In the corner of her eye, she sees a looming figure at the of the foot of the entrance. “Edwin stop,” She said seriously, the amusement in her voice gone completely. He was startled as he looked at the embarrassment on her cheeks. He glanced towards the entrance and his blood went cold.

Mr. Shelby stood by the door. A puff of smoke escaped his lips as he looked at the two fools tangled in the hay. Edwin immediately stood up. Brushing away the hay that covered his trousers. Rosie slowly rose to stand beside him. Hanging her head in embarrassment, her fingers toyed with the fabric of her dress.

“My apologies for the noise Mr. Shelby,” Edwin spoke. He looked between the two, his eyes were icier than they usually looked. “Get my horse ready,” he didn’t spare them a second glance as he walked away. “I’m sorry Cherry, should hav’ listened to you.” Edwin rushed to gather the horse’s saddle. She remained standing there. Her fingers pulling at a single thread that stuck out of her dress. She had been serving breakfast for Mr. Shelby for almost a week but he still managed to agitate her. She saw him differently since that night. He was a man, not a monster who hunted in the shadows. He was a dark and twisted man but a man nevertheless. He had his moments of kindness. She had witnessed them herself.

Her heart still skipped a beat when he addressed her. She hated to accept that it was now because of an entirely different reason. It was hard for her to admit that she still thought about what had happened. But she only thought about the part that hadn’t frightened her. That moment before he crashed his lips into her. My Rosie. The tenderness in his voice echoed in her mind. His breath had been so warm against her cheek.

She shivered. He was just a man. That frightened her too.


	5. "Acrimony"

Like every other day, she entered his room at eight o`clock sharp. Never once had she seen him asleep. He made sure of that. She would chirp a good morning, give him his coffee, sometimes bring in some new flowers. It embarrassed him to admit that he liked the flowers. And then he would dismiss her. He would rarely catch sight of her for the rest of the day.

It took all of his strength to not work. The week had passed slowly and his moments with her passed too quickly for his liking. He had already done enough of these _leisurely_ activities for him to not need them for a lifetime. He had gone hunting with Johnny dogs, spent time with his son. Drank endlessly with Arthur and even gave Lizzie a visit out of boredom. He’d had a good fuck or two with an expensive whore but it didn’t help. His nights still dragged painfully long. His thoughts sequestering his sleep. Grace. John. The war. Recently it was that maid, Rosie.

He especially thought of her last night. That morning, he had decidedly chosen to take the horse out into the countryside but found something very unpleasant instead. He had heard her distress when he had started to walk to the stables. She squealed, pleading to the stable boy to stop. For a second he felt a wave of concern despite him trying to ignore it, he still ended up hurrying towards the stables but he found a very different disturbance to the one he had in mind. His blood boiled under his skin.

She lay beneath the stable boy. Her hair a tousled in the hay as he wrestled her into the hay. She had an irritating smile plastered on her bloody face as the boy touched her playfully. He stood there for far too long until they noticed he was right fookin there. When he walked away he heard what that boy called her. _Cherry_. A small part in his chest prickled with envy.

It hadn’t allowed him to sleep much. Were they involved? How many times had they kissed? How many times had she allowed him to touch her while he had been rejected so quickly by her? He thought she had stopped him out of inexperience and his shockingly fast advancement on her. But maybe it was because of that _boy_. Maybe he’d fucked her already or was planning to. Maybe she wasn’t as innocent as he thought. _She fookin lied._

He didn’t like that it bothered him. The frustration he felt didn't seem to leave his mind. A dark part of him wanted her to himself, he didn’t want anyone to lay a finger on her at least not until he got the chance to fuck her first. He didn’t want anyone to taint something so pure. Unless it was him. It fucking kept him awake all night.

She was still fixing up the silverware as he raged inside his mind. He pushed those thoughts away to study her as she had her back turned to him. He hadn’t noticed what she looked like from behind. Her bottom was perfectly shaped like a heart that he wished to hold on to. His jaw tightened. His eyes wandered to her hair. He noticed that she had flowers knotted in her golden hair today. It was peculiar that she was one of the few girls of her time sporting long hair. Usually, the women who let their hair go were just common whores. Women who couldn’t afford to get their hair primmed each day. But it didn’t look that way on her. It made her look angelic, her hair soft as silk falling in softs waves all the way to her small waist. She always had a part of it pulled back from her face with braids or pins. That night, her hair had been completely set free framing her face in such a natural way. Her blonde hair and green eyes popped against her fair skin. He figured that it might just be her personal preference, he liked it that way too.

“Rosie” His gravely voice sounded rougher than usual. She looked at him, catching her pink lip between her teeth. He sucked in a breath. Maybe it was boredom from this endless vacation but he felt the sudden urge to address what happened between them. _Just tell her you hadn’t wished to make her uncomfortable, you fuck._ Now was as good of a time as any.

“That night... when I came to your room. I didn’t m-” “Don’t worry Mr. Shelby you don’t need to apologize… I was just afraid.” Her eyes immediately shot up to look at him with regret, she had said way too much.

He sat up slightly in his bed, his brows rising in suspicion. “I wasn’t going to apologize,” he said. But now a question lingered in the air.

“Afraid of _what_?” His voice hardened. She said nothing, her eyes dodging his glare. He knew that it didn’t really matter what she answered. He knew that he was bored and in need of something to do. He was desperate for some chaos so he could fix it. He guessed this was the next best thing. “Rosie… afraid of what” His voice teetering off the edge. “I-I hadn’t meant it that way, Mr. Shelby.” Her heartbeat quickened as he bore is gaze into her.

“Then how did you mean it, eh? Afraid of me? Am I too fucking old for ya? Afraid of fookin sex? Too innocent? That’s a fooking lie, Rosie. Don’t flatter yourself.” He didn’t know why he was being so cruel. He despised that he couldn’t quite read her. He despised that he wasn’t _only_ asking out of boredom.

Her lip quivered as he slid out of his bed.

“Is it the stable boy?” His fisted clenched as he walked towards her. “It’s not that Mr. Shelby!” She backed up into the table as he walked closer. He caged her with his body, pulling her chin up as gently as his anger allowed him so he could look directly into her eyes.

“Rosie?” he seethed. “Afraid of what?” Her eyes looked at the fist at his side and her body froze. She began trembling as she looked back to him. She wouldn’t survive if it happened _again_.

She was shaking underneath him. He saw the fear in her gaze. He knew what those eyes implied. Slowly he let go of her face.

He hated that he knew why she was afraid. The way she had looked when she arrived. It all made sense. She had looked so broken. It bothered him to imagine exactly what could have happened to her. He’d been so blind, thinking that it had something to do with him. How could he not tell?

“Rosie” his voice was dangerously quiet. “Who. Was. It?” She visibly paled at his question, a tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t answer.

“WHO FOOKIN WAS IT!” He flipped the table.

Glass shattered, the silverware clanked hard against the floor. “Just tell me Rosie! Give me a bloody name! Who fucking did it! Tell me right fucking now!”

Her mouth opened to say something, “I- I c-can’t…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. She sprinted out the door before he could stop her.

“FUCK.” He howled. He threw his whiskey glass at the wall. He gripped onto the single chair left standing, his nails digging into the wood. He had lost control. All of this time alone was going to his head. He didn’t see her for the rest of the day.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, a bit of a cliffhanger! I promise that its gonna be totally worth it ;)


	6. “Witching Hour”

She didn’t leave her room for the rest of the day. She had told Frances while holding back tears that she felt very ill and needed to rest. The woman didn’t even question her since she did look the part. She hurried back to her room avoiding even looking at his room altogether. She hadn’t moved from her bed since. Her chest ached from the loud sobs she had muffled into her pillow. She had only managed to stop for a bit. Curling onto her side facing the wall, she held onto her pillow harder, using it to comfort her pain.

She wasn’t going to tell Edwin what happened today, she didn’t even want to see him. Not even him truly knew what had happened to her before she had arrived. No one knew. She had never told a living soul and no one had ever asked her either. But Mr. Shelby had quickly drawn to the conclusion without her even speaking. She doesn’t understand why he would treat her like this. He was such a collected and calculated man, it baffled her that he had an outburst over something so irrelevant to his life. The insults he had said and the mess he had made in his room weren’t what hurt her so badly. It was what he made her relive, despite her best efforts to suppress those memories he managed to draw them out of her terrifyingly fast. 

In a span of a week, Mr. Shelby had managed to scare her, make her cry, and overall question her sanity. But, after all he had done, she found herself struggling to hate him. It wasn’t his intention to make her feel this way. At least that’s what she hoped. He was making her feel something that she had never experienced. But that wasn’t what troubled her it was the memories of her past that he was resurfacing that was going to keep her awake. She let out a soft cry. If she tried to sleep tonight she knew it would come accompanied by nightmares.

She rather not sleep at all. 

It was one in the morning, she presumed. Hours had passed and she remained in the same position her eyes looking emptily at the wall. She struggled to keep her eyes open as her body failed her. She hadn’t slept properly the whole week and the exhaustion was pilling onto her. But she refused to give in.

The room was eerily silent. It only made her realize how suffocated she felt inside her room. She couldn’t stand the feeling. The silence was haunting, she needed to disappear. Hesitantly she crawled out of bed. She would take a walk into the fields. A long walk. Maybe the cold night air would keep her awake. She wrapped her paper-thin shawl over her shoulders, serving absolutely no use to keep her warm. She didn’t even change from her nightgown. She could care less. She descended the large stairs of home, still feeling trapped. She slid out the door immediately gasping as the cold wind bit at her skin. But it didn’t stop her. She didn’t know how far she would go, maybe she’d walk all the way to the rim of the forest far beyond the fields. It was only an hour of walking. She started on her way. She didn’t listen to the ache she felt in her bones from the cold. She needed to escape. 

* * *

Tommy looked into the flames. There wasn’t much noise other than the crackling of the fire and the sway of the breeze. 

He felt so painfully empty. The silence only made his thoughts more haunting. He couldn’t understand what pained him more at the moment. He missed Grace, he missed his wife. She had always managed to center him, put her foot down when she see’d fit. He wanted to believe that he had managed to move on but there was still so much grief when he thought of her. The life he lived, the life he had let her be a part of, killed her instead of him. There wasn’t a day he didn’t wish the bullet would have killed him instead. And there was John. John had sworn to never see him again and he didn’t see him for over a year and he had died that way. He couldn’t save him. And there was the war, but he was so tired of thinking about it, he didn't want to be reminded of it anymore. It was something that he forced himself to ignore despite the shovels still echoing in his head. 

He had ridden there on his black horse, against the darkness of the night it almost seemed that he was riding black mist. This was not the first time he had ridden out here to escape his thoughts. And it wouldn’t be the last.

He didn’t know why it had bothered him to comprehend that Rosie had probably been raped or beaten. For anyone else, he wouldn’t have blinked an eye. It was just how life was after-all. You could either let it make or break you. He hadn’t even felt this way when he heard of what Polly had been forced to do with Inspector Cambell. The inspector took something from her and Polly took his life away in retribution. There wasn’t more to it. Nothing left to discuss and no reason to grieve. 

Oh, but for Rosie, it _felt_ different. 

But it was something he could not control. He had control over everything he wanted, he dominated everything that the world threw at him but he could never control the things that tortured him the most. And that disturbed him. 

He took a last long drag from his cigarette before tossing it in the fire. His gloved hand reached into his pockets for another. But then he heard it, the smallest little noise, a small twig snapping meters away from him. He turned towards the noise slowly, a small part of him hoping that maybe whoever it was would just put an end to him.

There she was in front of him. Maybe he was hallucinating? It couldn’t be real. Like a white witch who’d placed him in a dream. She looked like she was from a different world as the wind blew on her hair and her white clothes. She stood on the other end of the fire looking puzzled, not knowing if she should speak or run. They looked at each other for the longest time. There was a silent understanding that they were both there for the same reasons. Grief. 

“Your lucky you didn’t freeze to death on the way.” He said. He could see that she was shivering uncontrollably under her insignificant piece of fabric. 

She started to back away, even though her skin burned from the cold, she preferred to leave.

“I promise you that you’ll die before you even make it halfway back.” He warned. She couldn’t bring herself to retort, he was undeniably right. 

She walked over and sat on the log beside him. Sighing as the warmth of the fire soothed her cold skin. They sat there in silence, listening to the crackle of the fire. He wondered how she had managed to walk this far. She must have walked for at least two hours before running into him. He was relieved she found him and not someone else who might have been wandering in the night. Not that he was any better.

He barely allowed himself to glance over to her. She was wearing that small nightgown from the week before. He tried not to think about exposed she was to him. And he did his best to ignore the growing ache in his pants and tried to think of something else. _I want to know exactly why she left._ He was interested and slightly concerned about the answer. Nevertheless, he needed to feed his boredom, and Rosie was the only distraction insight. 

He took a drag from his second cig, his eyes looked detached as he watched the dancing flames. “I’d seen that look before. On Polly. She hasn’t been entirely herself since the incident.” She still remained silent, she contemplated running away but her legs were too cold to carry her back. 

His patience was wearing thin. 

“Listen, Rosie, I don't fucking care about why your here. I could care less. But I want to know what you're not telling me because what you're making me think, isn’t any fucking good.” He left no space for refusal. He wasn’t angry as of now but he wouldn’t be able to hold back if she stayed silent again.

She shifted slightly testing to see if she could actually stand up again. But she felt so weak. Her mind was so tired. She needed him to leave her alone. “I ran away from home.” She said briefly. Just a small part of the truth could maybe satiate his interest, maybe it could be enough for him to leave her alone. 

“Yes I um, I ran away from my family.” She stuttered. 

“You think I’m stupid eh?” He spoke sharply. “That isn’t the reason you ran away from me. And it’s not the reason why you were walking in the middle of nowhere, at three in the morning in those fucking clothes.” He tried his best to not raise his voice. He didn’t need her running away again.

Despite her aching body screaming for her to stay warm, she made an attempt to leave. But she felt a firm grasp on her wrist. She looked back at him. His leather glove was wrapped tightly around her wrist, he didn’t look angry just frustrated as he stopped her from escaping. Her eyes lingered for while longer before being forced down on the log again. 

“Please Mr. Shelby.” Her voice was so weak from the cold, “there’s nothing to be told.” She looked at him hoping that he would change his mind. Slowly he released her. 

He sighed, “Rosie I’m going to make this real simple for you. If you don’t speak, I’ll leave you here to freeze and if you try to run away you’ll also freeze. So just get it bloody over with.” 

She gasped from the harshness of his threat. She was being forced. Forced to unleash her past to someone who was just looking for a way to kill time. She wanted to scream and run away. But she knew it wouldn’t work with him. She didn’t think he’d be so cruel to her. But then again, it’s Tommy Shelby, she should have expected it. 

Much like she had done before in her life, she accepted her fate. 

“Alright, I’ll tell you.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knoooow another cliffhanger. B-but we're so close to knowing about Rosie's past! This was honestly really hard to write, arguments difficult to make so as always suggestions are always welcomed! Thanks for the support :)


	7. “Set Aflame”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING this chapter will contain themes of sexual and physical abuse. If you find this triggering I recommend that you skip this chapter. The majority of my chapters do not speak about this subject lightly and if I ever go in-depth (like this chapter) I will always put WARNING at the top of the chapter notes. Safe Reading!

She took a deep breath and let it all go. 

“My father… he never really was a good man. More like he wasn’t at all. He was a drunk.” The statement drifted in the air leaving an awful taste in her mouth. 

“I guess he was a violent drunk. Him sober didn’t really make him any better.” She shot up to look at his reaction but his face still looked indifferent even though she already said more than she had told anyone before.

Rosie suppressed a shiver, it was almost physically challenging to continue. Nevertheless, she did. “He had always been cruel and when I was born it seemed to have gotten worse. Each year of my life seemed to get more awful than the last because of him.” Her brows were knitted with distress. The words she said burned for her to admit an old ache from years ago still fresh in her mind. 

“M-my mother never allowed him to hurt me, at least when she was there. And because she always stopped him, he would beat her, even more than he usually did. Sometimes he would beat her so much that I thought she would just die.” She hugged her sides as she shivered uncontrollably but it wasn’t only because of the cold. “He strangled, and slapped, and punched her when he pleased because he knew we didn’t have the money to go anywhere else. And sometimes he would, he would… ” Her voice trailed off. A breath shakily leaving her lips. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to block the images in her mind. _So many screams._

She felt something wrap around her shoulders. He had placed his coat around her. Her eyes met his again. The smallest trace of sympathy graced his hard features. She felt the encouragement to continue. 

“Sometimes… sometimes he would rape her. Mr. Shelby, I couldn’t stop him.” She choked on a sob as she spoke. “He would do it in front of me and then drag her into the other room. It didn’t muffle the screams she made. I can still hear her Mr. Shelby, it won’t stop inside my head. I couldn’t stop it!” She wailed, her voice was uneven as she gripped on to his coat harder. Tears trailed down her face freely, her eye’s filled with the horrors of her past. Tommy felt tempted to move closer, to comfort her. But he stopped himself.

“The only peace I had managed to have was when he went to bars or brothels in the gutters of Birmingham. In the time that my mother was alive, he had only slapped me or grabbed me hard enough to leave bruises that lasted for a few days. B-but then she got sick…I still feel like he did something to her, something that made her so sick. She wasn’t eating anymore and her body couldn’t handle his treatment in her physical state. One morning she didn’t wake up. I was fifteen when she died.” She was sobbing now. Her body shook violently despite the warmth of the coat. Admitting it hurt her in a whole new way because now, it was real. Tommy moved closer to her but didn’t reach out to touch her. His jaw clenched as she tried to speak again. 

“He seemed more affected by her death than I was. And he took it all out on me. He beat me every way imaginable. He never let me out of his sight. He took into the brothels and the bars. He left me there alone to fend off the men who tried to assault me and then beat me for getting their attention.” She said it as if every word was a dagger to her chest. She was breathing unevenly as she tried to suppress her cries. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks despite her efforts to stop them. 

He didn’t know what he could do. It was agonizing to hear her. Complete torture to think of it. It horrified him even more that he knew there was more to her story. 

She looked so pale against the light of the fire. She still trembled from where she sat. “Towards the end, he had become even more depraved…” She gripped onto the coat hard enough to rip it. “H-he started to _look_ at me in a way that no father should look at his own daughter. It was so wrong. So wrong. I preferred to die on the streets before he could ever touch me. One night he came into my room as I slept. He tried to _touch_ me… But I-I just couldn’t let him do it. He had taken so much from me but I wouldn’t let him take this. I kicked him harder than he could have ever expected and I took it as my chance to run away. I didn’t even have time to grab my shoes as I choose to finally escape. But he didn’t give up that easily. He pinned me into the wall as I made my way out, there was a snagged nail on the door and he dug it deep into my back.” Her hand ghosted over her back she could still feel the scar deep in her skin. 

“He dragged me up into the wall, slicing my back open with the nail. I screamed so loudly into his ear he let go of me, just long enough for me to escape.” She sobbed raggedly into her hands, losing control of the composure she had left. 

“I barely made it out, I ran so fast I didn’t notice how my feet bled and how much blood was seeping from my back. I got as far as the countryside before collapsing from the loss of blood. I was so lucky Mr. Shelby, I barely made it.” She looked up to him, her eyes were stricken with grief. But for once she saw genuine kindness when she looked into his eyes. There was a glint of understanding and warmth in those pale eyes which comforted her. It was a sight that she wouldn’t forget. 

“Frances had been on her way to the market early in the morning when she found me. I was half-dead, I had lost so much blood. She saved my life. Nursed me back to health until my wounds had healed. And then she brought me here since she didn’t have the money for the both of us and I couldn’t pay her rent. I’ve been here ever since I was 16. That was the end of it.” 

A long silence settled, the wind swayed the trees tentatively, a few of her cries floated in the air. The truth had finally been said. She had given him what he wanted. None of it felt real. Speaking of such intimacies with a man she barely understood. It all felt like a fever dream. 

Despite his best attempts to not touch her, he gave in. Slowly he leaned closer to her and enveloped her with the gentlest hug. He felt warm against her cold skin. She hadn’t been hugged in years and she found herself giving in to his embrace. Timidly she wrapped her arms around his neck. He smelled like the pines of the forest and whiskey, she liked how he smelled. Her head rested in the crook of his neck while tears streamed down her rosy face. 

She didn’t want him to stop holding her, she wanted to stay like this forever. It was addicting to feel his comfort. She hadn’t remembered the last time she had been hugged, it must have been when her mother was still alive. Her arms tightened around him not wanting to let go. 

He stroked her hair as he finally spoke. “Rose. You shouldn’t have been born into that life. But here, you’re far away from your father’s harm.” His hold on her got tighter. “I promise you that.” 

His fingers grazed over her back gently. “I know that I can be harsh Rose,” he said, “but I won’t hurt you as he did.” 

Reluctantly she pulled away from the hug. “I know Mr. Shelby but I just can’t forget.”

“Don’t call me that anymore, just Tommy.” He said. 

She smiled briefly at him, she appreciated how gentle he was being. “That night you came to my room. That was my first kiss. It was so strange to me, the way you pushed me… it reminded me of my father,” she said tentatively. 

For once he felt guilt. A rare occurrence for him. He didn’t want to be something that reminded her of her father. He didn’t want to scare her anymore. 

“Your first kiss.” He repeated to himself. 

He had been so keen on taking her for himself he hadn’t noticed that he already had. It was just a kiss, nothing of importance, something that only children cared about. But it was different for her. He didn’t want to take her so roughly as he had anymore. He wanted her to feel safe. 

“Yes, I-I didn’t know that kissing was like that.” She spoke nervously. 

He faced her now. The tears had stopped falling down her cheeks and she looked so delicate in his coat. His calloused hand stroked the soft skin of her cheek, brushing away the remaining tears. He knew he should stop but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“That isn’t _always_ how people kiss.”

She looked at him her eyes sparkling with wonder. He didn’t look like the man she had seen in the past. He looked stunning, she admitted. Never had she really found a man handsome but this felt close to it. He was human, a man of few words but his eyes spoke a million. She found herself wanting to ask him what he meant. Butterfly’s fluttered in her chest. 

“Then how, Tommy?”

He got closer to her face. Looking into her eyes as he cupped her cheek gently. She didn’t pull back, her lips slightly parting with daze. He took that as a sign and closed the space between their lips. 

It was the softest kiss. His lips hardly grazing over hers as he was trying his best to not be greedy. But then she returned the kiss, her arms innocently wrapping around his shoulders. He pulled her closer. It was a comfort. His lips gently teased hers as he pulled her closer. She was intoxicating with just the smallest kiss. A small sigh left her lips as pressed harder into the kiss. It was strangely intimate but so peaceful, he didn’t want to stop feeling her. 

But she pulled away to his dismay. She pulled into a hug instead. Her head rested on his shoulder gently breathing him in. Carefully he pulled her onto his lap, he wanted to keep her close. She didn’t stop him. 

“I like that. As my first kiss.” She yawned, the warmth radiating from his body cradled her into sleep. The restless nights had caught up with her and she found herself struggling to stay awake. Slowly her heavy eyes closed and for once she fell asleep feeling relief. 

They both felt relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaa. So much happened!!!! Tommy being soft is what I live for. God damnnit she fell asleep in his arms!! I'm swooning.  
> What did you guys think about the chapter?


	8. "I Don’t Know You"

She woke up feeling unusually comfortable. The bed was infinitely soft, the rich sheets and blankets felt like butter against her skin. She was cocooned into a ball of warmth that succumbed her to stay put. She groaned, passing her hands through the fabric of the bed. _Why are the sheets so soft?_ And why was her bed so soft… It wasn’t her bed! She shot up from under the heavy covers. She was in the bloody guest room. How did she get into the guest room? The large curtains had been closed, encapsulating her into the darkness of the large room. She scooted off the bed reluctantly. Was that what a real bed felt like? She was tempted to dive under the covers again and live in there. _So soft._

“What time is it?” She squinted. She yanked the curtains open and gasped. “How long was I asleep!” The morning sun was out and the mist from the fields was beginning to lift. She snapped her eyes towards the clock. _It’s nine o’bloody clock!_ She squeaked. 

She grabbed her shoes from beside the bed and burst out the door without a second thought. There was a chance that there was someone roaming the halls, so she checked before sprinting down the halls. The sight of her would have made anyone laugh, she looked like a headless chicken as she ran across the hall in her nightgown, her bare feet unceremoniously slapping against the cold wood floor. 

She made it to her door and rushed inside, smacking her head against the frame of the door before making it in. She didn’t even care to think of it as she slipped into her uniform and once again ran out the door, this time carefully ducking under the door. 

His breakfast! She hadn’t woken up to bring him his food. The house echoed with her hurried footsteps as she ran for the kitchen. 

“Frances!” She searched for the tray. 

“Frances where the breakfast tray!” She said, her eyes darting about the bustling kitchen. Why were there so many people today?

The older maid popped her head quizzically from the pantry. “Rosie, where have been!” She charged towards her. One of the chefs got in her way and Frances had no plight with shoving the man out of her way to get to Rosie. As motherly as she was, Frances did have a fury in her that Rosie didn’t possess. No fear in telling people off… or shoving innocent employees.

“Rosie where have been! I thought you’d run off, you weren’t in your room! What was I supposed to think!” She waved a nagging finger 

“I’m sorry Francy I just… I didn’t feel well I needed to go for a little walk.” Her voice was knitted with remorse. “I didn’t notice how late it was.” 

The older woman eyed her disapprovingly. “Hmmm course you didn’t, that explains why your hairs such a mess too, right? Had a nice brawl with the wind or were you with Edwin, eh Luv?” Her brow almost seemed to raise into her hairline.

Rosie sucked in a breath. _Did she see me in the guest room?_ She thought about launching herself out the window. 

Frances sighed, her shoulder dropping as she shook her head. “You left me all the work you little twat, you’re lucky I don’t woop you for it. Already have enough on my plate with the dinner happening tonight.” She chuckled giving Rosie’s hands a comforting squeeze. 

“I told Helen to bring up Mr. Shelby’s breakfast for today.”

Rosie’s eye twitched slightly. It was _her_ job to take care of his breakfast. She felt embarrassed that she hadn’t kept her promise. 

“You might still be able to get the tray back,” Frances gave in to a smile, “I think he somewhat likes seeing your sweet face in the morning.” She went back to ordering the scrambling employees. 

A blush crept on her face thinking about Mr. Shelby or now Tommy. That kiss. It had blown her away. She tried her best to not smile like a fool as she made her way to his room. That moment together had almost made her forget about all the pain she had exposed. The pain was fresh but so was this feeling when she thought of him. It was all so new. 

Before she could get a hold of the door, it flew open. Helen stood there with a smug grin painted on her ditsy face, the empty tray in her hands. 

“Woke up a bit too late didn’t you Rosie?” She pushed passed her. 

The excitement she had dropped to her stomach. She just wanted to _see_ him.

“Maybe you should sleep in more often. I think Tommy prefers it that way,” she said as she descended down the stairs to the kitchen.

She stood by the door, questioning if she should go in. But with what reason? She had none. She started to walk away.

“Rose?” His voice called. She glanced towards the door again the nerves blooming in her chest. 

“You can come in.”

She walked inside, goosebumps forming on her skin. He was looking out the window, watching Charlie play outside with the dog. Leaning against the frame of the window she got a good look of him in the light. He wore this beautiful navy three-piece suit. She hadn’t noticed how nice he looked in his suits. The fit was perfectly tailored for him and only him.

“Good Morning Tommy,” it felt strange to call him such a friendly name. 

“Morning Rose, I’m presuming you slept well.” His eyes were still trained on his son who was giggling his way around the dog. 

She guessed it must have been him who had placed her in the guest room. “I did, thank you for taking me back. I wish I wouldn’t have fallen asleep like that.” She chuckled as she saw Charlie get whacked by the dog’s tail. 

“They’re nothing to worry about you must have been tired after walking so long.” He said shortly. He wouldn’t mention that she had drooled all over him on the way back. Or that he put her in the guest room so she could be comfortable. Or that he had kissed goodnight her as she slept. It was an embarrassing secret that he would keep to himself, no one needed to know that he was acting like a wet nurse. 

It bothered her that he was so quiet. After all she had told him it seemed like he didn’t have much interest in speaking to her. They just kept looking out the window as Charlie tried his best to ride the poor dog. Her eyes curiously roamed his face, he was so focused on his son. There was no smile on his face but she could tell that he amused, after all the boy really was a spark of life. She could tell that he truly loved his family. 

Despite his impassive behavior, she raked her mind for a conversation. “I-I heard that there’s going to be a dinner tonight, who’s coming?” She bit her lip, hoping he would answer. 

“Arthur, Micheal, and a few others are coming to discuss business and drink whiskey.” 

“And Polly?” She questioned. Polly was always there when it came to business. 

He finally looked away from the window. Looking at her now felt different. There was nothing left to know of her. No secrets left to investigate. But he wanted to keep her around despite her serving no use to him. He liked her company and her softness. Her past didn’t change his need to pursue her, he only knew that he wouldn’t pursue her the way he had with other women. She was a different challenge. 

“It’s men’s business Rose, nothing to do with women.” He stroked her cheek, he was tempted to steal a kiss. 

“Only if you make it that way.” She whispered. She didn’t agree.

He straightened coat and headed for the door. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Rose,” he hollered. “Always two sides to the coin.”

* * *

“Oi Tommy, I haven’t heard anything from yous in the whole bloody night.” 

It was deep into the night and they had already finished three bottles of whiskey. There were only five men. Arthur was rambling nonsense from the other end of the table while Finn and Johnny’s dogs cheered him on. Micheal had his smug grin as he watched them squawk and nurse the remaining bottle of liquor in Arthurs’s hand. 

“Sometimes it’s better to only speak when there’s something worth saying, Arthur.” Tommy teased. 

Arthur squabbled in his seat, “I have plenty of smart stuff worth saying, Tommy. Plenty of good ideas in me head.” He slammed his fist on the table, the glasses rattling in their spot. The booze was clearly not his ally. 

“Of course you do Arthur and so does Charlie,” the whole table broke out into a laugh, Arthur muttered something obscene under his breath, cradling the hostage whiskey bottle. 

A small smile crept on his face as he watched his brother fume. Just like a small child. He reminded him of when they were kids and they’d fight over the cigarette they’d found in the ashtray. Arthur would always forcefully take the cigarette from Tommy. But then he would just steal a cigarette from Polly and blame it on Arthur. And he would go mad just like he did right now. Some things didn’t change. 

By the door stood Rose. He could tell she was trying not to laugh at her brother, he didn’t blame her. Her hair looked beautiful tonight. She had curled the ends of her hair. The curls bounced when she walked in the most entrancing way. She was wearing the same pair of blue strappy oxford shoes as always, they looked worn. He wondered if those were the only shoes she had. Could she even afford clothes? 

Annoyingly, he was pulled out of his thought again. All eyes were on Rose now. 

Arthur his lips turned to a wicked smile as she looked at her. “Pretty little thing isn’t she?” He scratched at his mustache that had been dipped in his whiskey. The men around the table murmured in agreement. None of their roaming eyes looked very inviting to her, the blood drained from her face. 

“What’s your name?” Micheal asked. 

“Her name’s Rosie. Right, Luv?” Arthur spoke. All she could do was nod in agreement. 

“Rosie? Pretty name, for a maid.” Micheal quipped. “Too pretty, ”Finn chuckled dumbly. 

Arthur hummed, his large hand swirled his empty glass. He watched her hungrily, the wheels turning in his head. 

“Sit down.” He pulled out a chair from the end of the table and wedged it between him and Johnny dogs. “Sit right here next to us men.” He patted the chair. Tommy couldn’t say much. He could only watch, it wasn’t his job to save her, he insisted to himself. She wasn’t in any immediate threat. Slowly she went sit in the slew of men. Her heart dropped in her stomach as Tommy made no attempt to stop anything. Her eyes tried to search for his but there was no reaction. 

Arthur boomed a laugh and gave her waist a squeeze. “All right how about we have a toast to the lovely Ms. Rosie, my lads.” The room roared as the men refilled their drinks Arthur shoved a drink into her hands but she made no attempt to drink from it. “Oi, A toast to all the pretty women in the world. To you Rosie.” Johnny dogs slurred, his thumb pinched her nose sharply.

She had never had a drink of anything. It felt like poison to her, something that made people do mistakes just like her father. 

“C’mon Rosie have a drink.” He nudged the drink closer to her face. She was afraid, her heart pounded in her chest. She didn’t want to know what it was like to drink. There was a growing fear that no one was going to help her. 

“I-I don’t really drink much Arthur.”

He grumbled and pulled her closer to him, cradling her drink in his hand. “Well then, now is as good of a time as any to start.” She looked around the room, the men waited for her expectantly and Tommy hadn’t said a word against it. There was nothing to do. Again. 

She took a hold of the cup. Arthur breathing down her neck. She closed her eyes. It was all she could do. 

She downed the drink. And her world lost color.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand Tommy fucks up. Again. Rosie reaally got her hopes up for this.


	9. “Paladin”

Tommy stared at his glass of whiskey as if it held the answers to all his problems. He purposely ignored the intoxicated Rosie who seemed to have become completely inebriated by only three glasses of whiskey. She was swaying in her chair. The men around her almost on top of her as they marveled at her tipsy state. He didn’t show that he was bothered, but he sure felt it. He contemplated whether or not they would mind if he smashed a bottle of whiskey on their heads.

“You’re all quite nice after a few drinks.” She giggled. 

Micheal cackled through puffs of smoke. “I like this Rosie, we should always keep her like this.” Another drink was sent her way and in her clumsy state she splashed the liquid right into her face as she tried to drink from it, droplets of whiskey dripped down her chin. They all laughed and she giggled unbeknownst that they were laughing at her. 

Her head spun and the world felt like it was moving faster than she could keep up with. She had no control, words spewed out of her unwillingly. Her throat burned from the third swig of whiskey. She didn’t like the taste but Arthur relentlessly shoved her drink after drink. She could barely sit up in her state. 

“Tommy, why aren’t  _ you  _ laughing.” She longed for his attention.

He didn’t dare answer. 

“Don’t worry about him love. We can show you a good time.” He murmured into her ear. 

From the end of the room, Frances barged in, much to her dismay. Immediately her eyes nearly popped out of her skull as she pinned Rosie with an alarmed stare. “Rosie!” She blurted. Almost dropping her tray. Tommy immediately stood up to quiet her. Frances tried her best to calm herself but her bewildered face was evident to anyone with a pair of eyes. “It’s alright Frances, I’ll deal with them, it’s all in good fun,” he dismissed her, not even allowing her to open her mouth to complain. He didn’t waste any time opening the door and shewing her out.

Before he could shut the door she grabbed a hold of his wrist. He shot her a warning glance that spoke of the dangers of defying him. He hadn’t met this side of ol’ Frances and he wasn’t quite sure he liked it. “Mr. Shelby, she's just a girl.” His eyes glanced back to her bony hand that gripped his wrist. Like if it was scalding hot she let go but persisted. “Please Sir, don’t get her involved, she’s already been through enough,” Frances begged with her old eyes. “I know Frances, just go rest now.” The doors closed on her frightened face. 

He sucked in a sharp breath as he leaned against the door. Rosie wasn’t necessarily getting hurt… at least not physically. But he was, for the most part, a man of his word and wouldn’t allow her to be dragged around like a toy, at least not by anyone else. 

He turned back to look at the mess. Arthur's fingers were tracing small shapes very close to the inside of her thighs with Rosie barely sober enough to acknowledge the invasion on her skin.  _ Why didn’t I stop this sooner!  _

“Alright!” His voice commanded. 

“That’s enough. All of you back to your homes.” He leaned forward with hands planted on the table. His expression was calm but there was a hint of bitterness when he spoke. Almost immediately they stopped with almost dumbfounded looks. Bothered that they couldn’t stay longer with their new  _ friend _ . Johnny Dogs was the first to stand up. One warning was enough for him to understand that he needed to leave. “Night Tommy,” he nodded. His vest was unbuckled and the brim of his cap was nearly tipping all the way into his vision. Finn chirped his goodbye as he followed Johnny out the door. Their stumbling footsteps echoed out the hall, their drunken laughs still loud in the quiet home. 

He quirked his brow at Micheal and Arthur. “I meant all of you.” Micheal held his gaze with Tommy a moment longer before rising from his chair. He pinched Rosie’s cheek. “Rosie, I hope I see you around more often,” he said. He grabbed his coat and made his way towards the door but stopped beside Tommy. He had a smirk on his face as he eyed his cousin; another cigarette was wedged between his thin lips. “I think this vacation is doing you some good Tommy, I think I almost saw you smile today.” The young man strode out the door without another word. 

His eyes wandered back to look at his brother. Tommy brows knitted as he eyed them. Arthur was in no disposition of moving. That hand on Rosie’s thigh was still too close for Tommy's comfort. His other hand was wrapped around her waist possessively. Like a child with a piece of candy. Some things never change. 

“Arthur go back home to your  _ wife,”  _ His grip got tighter on her, and Tommy’s patience was dwindling. Rosie looked between the two with concern despite her inebriated state. She tried subtly to pull away from Arthur but he only pulled her closer, smothering her into his chest. 

“I’m older here Tommy, you don’t tell me what to do.” He leaned into Rosie, “we’re just having a good time. Right, Rosie?” She nodded her head nervously. But her eyes spoke a different truth.

“But I make the decisions.” Tommy nearly growled. 

“I won’t say it again. Arthur, go fucking back to Linda and let go of the girl.” He made his way to the door and held it open, waiting for Arthur to leave. Arthur grumbled under his mustache and finally let go of her. Before getting up, he took a long swig from the remaining whiskey bottle before finally departing from the dinner table. 

“Rosie,” he tipped his hat. When he made his way to the door the two glared at each other, Arthurs’s nose almost brushing up against Tommys. Rosie watched from the table, her jaw slack as she watched them. He gently took a hold of Arthur's coat and sighed. 

“What do you think your pretty little wife would do if someone told her how you were behaving around the young maids, ey Arthur? I assure you she’ll have you out on the street before you can even think.” He let go of his coat and Arthur slightly stumbled back. “So don’t touch Rosie anymore. Don’t bother her with your conversation. Just a simple good evening and goodnight. Forget that she exists. Because she doesn’t exist for you.” 

Arthur’s mustache threatened to fly off from the twitching of his scowl. But he didn’t dare answer. He pushed his way out the door without another word. His feet echoed down the hallway at last. 

He glanced back at her. Her bottom lip was quivering as she looked away from him. Her skin crawled from touches that ghosted her skin. And he had done nothing to stop it. Her heart ached. That sweet childish crush she felt for Tommy felt like it was being crushed under the severity of his cruelty. She never loosed her patience with anyone but right now there was a pit in her stomach that yearned to scream at him. “Rose?” He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She flinched as if his skin would burn through her clothes. She didn’t want his meaningless consolation, he didn’t deserve her forgiveness nor her attention. But the weaker part of her just wanted to be held again. 

“I’m talking to you.” He said. “Well I’m not,” she whispered, she was keenly aware that she was treading on dangerous waters. 

He sighed, slowly sinking into the chair beside her. He was surprised she dared talk back to him, he wouldn’t have thought she had the backbone for that. “Rosie, I’m not going to ask you again.” She turned to look into his eyes and for a second she forgot that she was angry. Only for a second. His pretty face could only get him so far. 

His hand reached out to twirl a strand of hair. Her heart skipped a beat with the need to lean in but she resisted. She had more dignity than that. She tugged out of his grasp. Fear pumping through her veins and pounding in her ears. She supposed that the whiskey had made her braver because she surely would have dropped dead if she was sobber. 

She looked straight into his eyes. “Why are you like this?” The words left her mouth involuntarily. She silently prayed that she hadn’t said that out loud.

He looked at her lips, wondering if those were the same ones that he had kissed the night before. Because the ones that were speaking now seemed to belong to someone with a bit more courage than he’d expect from his Rose. He leaned back into the chair and looked out the window. He wasn’t sure he had an answer for her, at least not an answer that she would like to hear. “Why am I like what Rosie?” 

“Cruel to me.” 

He tried to hide the fact that he was shocked. He most certainly hadn’t expected her to say that. Was he that cruel? Or was she just too innocent? He decided that it was both. But he wouldn’t mention that it partly it was his fault. 

“I’m not being cruel Rosie, you’re just delicate.” He glanced at her and he saw anger flash in her green eyes. Now that was a strange sight to see from her.

“You’re wrong.” Her voice raised slightly from her whisper. She seethed. How could he possibly blame her for his cruelty. “You think I deserve this?” She stood from her chair and tried her best to not fall. “Since you’ve come back all you’ve done is cause me pain. You’ve yelled at me, you’ve pushed yourself on me, you allowed your brother to force me to drink, and you just watched as I got touched by every man in this dining room!” 

Her cheeks were burning red. The whiskey was fueling the burning fury in her chest. But he looked at her with a twinge of amusement like watching a toddler squabble over a broken toy.

“Rosie I-”

“NO, I’m talking,” she said. “And you know what the worst part is. You think you're entitled to own me. You think because you pay me you have the right to know my life? I told you about the most intimate and personal part of my life and then you let them treat me like SHIT, after every painful memory I shared with you. You only stopped them because you were jealous. Not because you care about me.  **You don’t care about anything.** ” 

Any trace of amusement had been sucked out of Tommy’s face. He looked like he was fighting the urge to scream back at her. Those blue eyes were frightening, the promise of violence hiding somewhere in his dark glare. Suddenly she was retracting into her weaker self. The look on his face making her cower under her skin. She decided that she rather not witness him explode and instead she darted to the door. Not taking a second to see him react she scrambled up the stairs and retreated to her quarters. She slammed the door and slid to the floor with a sigh of relief. As if the door would hold him back. 

Minutes later a hard knock sounded on the door. A part of her wanted to open the door but the other wanted to jump out the window.  _ Knock.  _ This knock was a lot more impatient and hard enough to make the door rattle. She didn’t really want to have her door broken down. 

“I am not here.” 

“Rosie, open the bloody door,” he spoke calmly. Again, she considered making her escape through the window. But the odds of making it after the fall were slim but even then those odds still looked better than opening the door.

“Rose. The door. Now.” 

She got up and opened the door. He stood there, mouth slightly parted in bewilderment, hair slightly ruffled in way that made her heart flutter. He somehow still looked quite nice even when he was about to murder her. He ducked into the room and stood in the center. He scanned the room. It surprised him that she managed to live in a room that was even smaller than his old crummy room. 

“You don’t walk away from me.” 

She was silent for a moment. Deciding whether or not it is worth arguing with him. 

“Why shouldn’t I?”

She crossed her arms and starred back into his impenetrable gaze.

He huffed out a breath. He thought it would be easier than this. “Because I am your boss. Because I am telling you. Because I pay for you.” 

“You don’t pay for my attention Mr. Shelby. I give that to you willingly because on the rare occasion your presence is enjoyable. And it’s my choice to do what I please with it.”

“It doesn’t matter. You cannot disrespect me, you’re a maid.”

“And it’s alright that you disrespect me? You promised me that I’d be safe,” her voice shook. “I told you everything and you didn’t give a damn. So I think I do have all the right to say  **you don’t care”**

“Don’t fucking say that.”

“Then prove me wrong. You only care about power, let everyone else be damned!”

He stepped closer, his form towering over her. A scowl of pure disdain painted his features. He leaned closer so that his eyes looked directly at her frightened face. His breath fanned over her cheeks and he could smell that whiskey lingering on her lips. “I have nothing to prove to anyone Rosie. I know what I am and what everyone else thinks of me is of little importance. Only an unlucky few know what I am.” 

He was close enough that his lips almost grazed against the shell of her ear. A small shiver ran down her spine and froze her in her spot. In her innocence, she wondered if she was one of those  _ unlucky  _ people who caught a glimpse of the real Thomas Shelby. 

He chuckled, “don’t flatter yourself Rose. You aren’t one of those people.” Like the sharp edge of a razor, he sliced through her with his vicious words. 

He stood back. Satisfaction lingering on his features as he looked at her shocked face. He felt the urge to smoke as a reward for winning the argument. He lit his cigarette, the light illuminating his sharp face and sunken eyes. A puff of smoke floated obnoxiously close to her face. He felt in the pit of his stomach an urge to touch her, hold her close despite her annoying bickering. But his pride kept him tied to his spot. He expected an apology first. Readily he waited for her response, basking in the silence of her internal turmoil. 

“Fuck you.” 

Did his ears hear that correctly? Or was he hearing things again? He wasn’t; the profanity had been directed at him. Never in his life had a word sounded so out of place in someone’s mouth. “What did you just say?” He threw his cigarette on the floor and stamped it out with a little more force than what was needed. 

The blood drained from her face. Seemingly all the liquid courage she had drunk disappeared with that final blow. 

“I-I just want to be someone that knows you. I know I’m asking too much from you but I just want you to care…. About me.”

With those words, he seemingly forgot that he told him to fuck off. His eyes softened as he looked at her. Her cheeks were pink from the whiskey and her eyes were heavy with the exhaustion of the previous night. He was reminded that she had already given him so much, a lot more than he deserved but definitely wanted. And he wanted her.

He stepped forward and she instinctively stepped back. But he persisted and got close enough that he could almost touch her. His hand reached out to brush against her lip and rest against her cheek, his cold hand warming under her flushed skin. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, as she craved for the soft touches that he gave her. Her lips parted almost expectant of what was to come next. Seeing her want him back was enough to make him go mad. And Tommy graciously obliged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knoooow another cliff hanger... next chapter is gonna nice tho if you know what I mean ;)  
> \- I kinda like that she finally called him out on all the bullshit he's pulled  
> -Also, I'm sorry I disappeared for a while I'm gonna start posting more regularly, I'll post a chapter or two per week around Wednesday!


	10. “Another Life”

The kiss was sweet enough to make her toe’s curl. And she found herself eagerly wanting more. His hand went to cup both sides of her face pulling her into a deeper kiss that made her heart hammer. She supposed that this was as close as she would get an apology and at this point, she didn’t mind as long he kept kissing her breathless. They quickly forgot the argument and their kisses became more daring. Not knowing where to put her hands she slid them underneath his coat along the expanse of his chest. A small grunt left him as her experimental hands reached for him. 

His hand went to slither around her waist and pull her close which caused her to gasp. He took his chance with her parted lips and tasted her with his tongue. A small whimper escaped Rose as he explored her. She tasted like whiskey, a strange taste to expect from her but the small noises that came from deep in her chest made him blissfully unaware. Playfully he went to travel to her neck. Her breath became more shallow. He was more delicate than the time before instead, he approached with little nips followed by warm kisses across the column of her neck. “Tommy.” Her breathy voice interrupted his excursion. 

He traveled up, biting softly at the shell of her ear. “Yes, Rose?” He sighed into her ear, every hair on her skin stood up at the warmth and sultry in his voice. 

“Teach me” She whispered as one of her hands went to rest at the base of his neck. “I want to kiss as you do.” He chuckled. Her eagerness excited him and he was interested to see where this would lead. 

He played along. “Do you want me to teach you… this,” he hummed and bit at the soft skin of her neck. 

“Yes!” She gasped. 

He grinned slightly against her skin, content with the effect he had on her. Leaving a few more kisses to her neck he went back to look at her. “You just need to practice, there isn’t much to it Rose. Just try.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and she looked at him nervously. 

Slowly she leaned in and a left a peck to his lips and then his cheek and then his jaw. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled herself flush against him, his chest rumbled as she explored him shyly. Unexpectedly she sucked on the skin of his neck and a loud unexpected groan left his lips. Hearing those noises come from such a powerful man, made her stomach flip, and inspired her to continue. His breath was uneven and his hand went to tangle into her hair and she hummed happily onto his skin. 

Before she could continue he picked her up and carried her to the small bed. It creaked loudly as the sat down, the bed nearly breaking in half under the weight of the two. She squeaked as she landed on his lap creating friction that sparked a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Instinctively she searched for the feeling again and ground down on his groin. His hands went hold onto her waist pushing her harder against him.

“Fuck,” he said with a gravelly voice.

He slowed down, stopping her hips in place. She whined, desperate to chase this new feeling blooming between her legs. It was intoxicating and she tried to rock her hips against his but his hands gripped her tighter. He swallowed thickly struggling to show constraint against her needs. 

“Rose, slow down.” His hands traveled down to squeeze the soft flesh of her thighs from above her dress. “I’ve never felt this before,” she panted and rest her head against the crook of his neck. 

He wanted for her to be safe, to feel comfortable and that meant he needed to slow down, at least for the first few times. “I want to touch you Rose, but I need to know that you’re ready.” He waited for an answer impatiently. His cock twitched in an agonizing way and he was losing his grip on his restraint. 

She gazed at him and kissed him gently. “Please Tommy.” 

He nearly smiled. Seeing her unhinged surfaced a longing he hadn’t felt in some time. He laid her down and she shot him a nervous glance, she felt vulnerable and aware that this may be too much even if her body wanted it. Her breath quickened as her thoughts got darker but he held her hand pulling her out of her fears. They held each other’s gaze and she felt her self calm down and fully relax into the mattress of her bed. He slowly crawled over her, his arms propping him above her. He kissed her cheek reassuringly, “I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

His hand slid over the top of her breast and squeezed. She let out an uneven breath. He kissed her comfortingly as his hand explored her. One by one he unbuttoned the front of her dress leaving the top of her chest bare to him. He bit his lip as he gazed at the newly exposed skin. His lips connected with hers again as his hand dipped experimentally under the band of her brassiere, his finger tracing lazy circles on her skin. “I’m going to go lower my Rose,” she nodded her consent and his hand fully dip under her brassiere and cupped her bare breast with his calloused hand. Her whimpers became louder as he rolled his finger against her nipple and then changed her right breast to give it the same treatment.

He was entranced by the feeling of her against his skin. At that moment he forgot everything else that haunted him, that could wait. Everything else could wait so that this moment could last longer. 

Rosie writhed underneath him, her hips slightly bucking in search of friction. Determined to soothe her ache his hand departed from her breast and lowered down past her navel and to her center. Delicately two pads of his finger made small circles through the fabric of her dress onto the small bud of nerves. 

Rosie was a mess, her hands gripping on to his broad shoulders for dear life, kissing him as if he would disappear if she stopped. She could only think about his hand stroking her so perfectly, she’d thought she might die from the feeling. Between her legs, she could wetness and she wondered for a moment if something was wrong but she was too occupied with the sheer euphoria spreading through her body to care. 

He hiked up the skirt of her dress to touch her more intimately. His hand caressing the skin of her thighs. Her legs were soft and plush, they were a bit bigger than other women's legs but he found himself preferring having more to grab onto. He squeezed harder and groaned into her lips. 

Skillfully he returned to pressing his fingers onto her sensitive clit. His hands briefly trailing down to her wet opening. To his surprise, she was wet enough that her bloomers were soaked and trailing down the inside of her thighs. “You’re all wet Rosie,” he bit her lip softly.

“Is that bad,” she said between moans.

“No no no, that’s **very** good Rose.” His breath fanned over her bright pink face. Feeling frantic to chase his own release he flipped her over to sit on his lap again and so that he could lay down on the bed. Their foreheads pressed together as they moved in a trance, lazy kisses in between lustful pants filled the room. Both his hands went to cup her ass and move her against the swell of his cock. “You’re doing so good my Rose,” He tilted his head back into the pillow and parted his lips as he got closer to his climax at an embarrassingly fast rate. She moaned as her sensitive bud rubbed against his member in a way that made her vision blur. Suddenly her orgasm crept up on her and she nearly screamed at the feeling, she fell over and gripped his hair like if she would fall off the bed if she didn’t, waves of intense pleasure washed over her as she slowly rode out her first orgasm. He was soon to follow, with the mix of pain from the tight grip in his hair and the pleasure of her grinding made him cum quickly, a lot faster than he had wanted. 

They stayed there in that position, both panting with shallow breaths. He placed wet kisses on the crook of her shoulder and stroked her back comfortingly. 

“Did you like that Rose?” He chuckled as he noted she was baffled in silence.

She lifted her head and gave him a long kiss. “I-I really liked it,” she had a shy smile plastered on her blushing face. She rolled off him and laid her head on his chest. She took notice of how crumpled his clothes were, it was a strange way to see him. The somber man with his crisp suits she feared was now lying in her bed with his hair a complete mess and the side of his neck covered with the marks she left him. 

He kissed the top of her head. His mind was repeating the events of the night. He treated her wrong and she rebelled, she stood her ground against him, and even after everything he said she still wanted him. A part of him considered her a fool, a fool for still wanting him, a fool for trusting him so easily despite everything that said otherwise. But deep down he was glad of her patience and her resilience. She had a patience that he didn’t have and neither did most of the women he’d been with. 

“I can never tell what you’re thinking about. Right now you seem like a million miles away… Was I not good?” She spoke solemnly. 

He moved her arm away and she feared that she had pushed too much and that he was going to leave, but he didn’t. He moved onto his side to face her, his hand reaching out to her waist to scooch her close to him. He pressed another kiss to her forehead and she felt reassured that he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. 

“You did fine Rose,” he wouldn’t mention the slightest bit of surprise and embarrassment at how quickly he finished. He guessed that all the pent up desire he had for her may have affected him more than he would have expected. 

She reached for the thin blanket at foot of her bed and pulled it over them, nuzzling closer to him. The candle on her nightstand had nearly died out, the flickering light danced between the shadows of their tired forms.

Rose wondered if this was all he would give her. Would he not say anything about what she accused him of? It concerned her that this might be the only way he knew how to apologize. And despite how good she had just felt with him, the lingering fear that he hadn’t learned anything from what they had argued stayed in her mind. 

She didn’t know him at all and even after all he knew about her history, he hadn’t _really_ tried to know her. Rose knew him from the rumors that circled the manor, he was described as “the devil himself,” “wickedly intelligent,” “Enigma” and above all “heartless.” Sometimes she believed it but moments like this she could see how wrong everyone was. 

Above all else, she wanted to understand him. And she wouldn’t give as easily as he’d expect. 

“Please Tommy tell me something about yourself.” 

Seemingly caught in mid-thought, he looked at her with cloudy eyes. “I don’t think there is much to say, Rose.”

She huffed a breath through her nostrils. Not even remotely satisfied with his answer. But with her newfound sense of fury, she didn’t let go so easily. “We all have something to say. Please just tell me one thing and I won’t bother you anymore. Tell me anything.” She bit her lip.

He hummed and kissed her temple. It took an effort to suppress the smile that was daring to spread across his face, he was enjoying her soft determination, so much that he gave into her wishes almost unquestioningly this time. 

“I have a fascination with horses.”

“Why’s that?” She found it sweet that he seemed to be connected to horses. It was a more humane aspect of him. 

“Well, it’s in our gypsy blood, from youth we are engrained with horses. I even thought of being a stable boy when I was younger. I understand them and wanted to spend all my time learning about them.” 

“Why didn’t you?”

His eyes darkened with the slightest bit of sadness. “War, Rosie. Life is not meant to be lived like a fantasy and I didn’t have the luxury of shoveling shit like an ignorant fool for the rest of my life.” She hugged him closer as he spoke. “I learned that I could never live a simple life, it wasn’t meant for someone like me.”

“It could be.” 

“It can’t Rose, I’ve already tried before.” The candle had died out and the room was under a veil of dark shadows and moonlight that poured from the small window beside the bed was the light inside the room. Looking at him now, in the light of the moon, he looked somber. A man who had already died before. 

“What did you see in the war, Tommy?”

“I saw hell”

He paused for a moment and spoke again.

“In the war, I saw so many horses wounded, so many killed on the battlefield. It changed something in me seeing them die. Because men dying became just the ordinary thing, but horses... I could never stomach it. Unlike the men dying on the battlefield, horses were honest, the had no free choice. I didn’t like seeing innocent things hurt.”

“I’m sorry Tommy,” she propped herself up on her elbows and kissed his cheek shyly. 

He lifted his head to connect his lips to hers, kissing her softly as his hands squeezed her side. She fell back to rest beside him and kissed him back with a sickly amount of affection. 

He departed from her lips and kissed her temple. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I wouldn’t be the man I am now if it weren’t for the war. I’d be shoveling shit for horses if I hadn’t been a claykicker in France.”

“Maybe you would have preferred that in another life.” She whispered.

“Maybe.” 

He pondered that idea for a second, a small cottage home far away from the smog of Birmingham. Horses day and night, caring for them, riding them, and possibly even breeding his own. He’d have a beautiful wife, one that would be safe of the harms of his previous life, they would raise their children in peace and blissful ignorance. He felt comfort at the thought. Such a simple life. It seemed so peaceful he could hardly recognize it. He could never have that. 

He waited for her to sleep. It only took her a few minutes to lose the fight against her exhaustion and fall asleep in the crook of his arm. He was tempted to stay, to hold her into the morning. But instead, he decided that he would leave her, his thoughts too tormenting to let him rest beside her. He slowly slid out of the bed, careful to not wake her. He tucked her in with the thin blanket she had. He reminded himself to get her a blanket since the one she had now was barely thicker than a sheet. She stirred slightly and he froze in his spot. She hummed some unrecognizable words before turning over on her side. He now allowed himself to smile and placed the faintest kiss to her cheek. He walked out of the room, leaving him alone in the cold breeze that flowed through the hallway. In the silence of his empty home, his thoughts became overbearing and the shoveling echoed in his head. Desperate to stop the horrible memories he decided he would drown them with whiskey. Once again he was reminded that he was alone. And there was no one who could save him in this life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fucking cute!!  
> I'm very new to writing smut so I'm sorry if it isn't too natural  
> Leave some comments, tell me what ya'll think? :)


	11. "Sour Confections"

Rosie stifled a smile as she prepared the breakfast tray. She had decided on surprising Tommy, ignoring his simple request of toast and ham, she was instead going for a completely different menu. Brummie bacon cakes. She admitted she wasn’t the best cook and she couldn’t even dare compare herself to the great cooks in the household but she fancied herself a great baker. Her dishes were limited but she made them to perfection, it was a taste of home or at least what she would want from a home. 

Two days had passed since that _special_ night and this morning she had woken up to an enchanting surprise. When she had awoken she had found herself wrapped in the warmest and fluffiest blanket she had ever had the pleasure of feeling. She presumed that Tommy hadn’t been satisfied with covering himself with her previous blanket. Her preceding blanket mysteriously disappeared, leaving her with no choice but to use the dreadfully soft blanket. She knew that no matter how hard she insisted he would never allow her to return his gift, so she only felt right by countering with a gift of her own. She didn’t have his infinite wealth and she was aware that her new comforter was possibly more expensive than everything she’d ever owned combined but she refused to accept his present without something in return. 

She may be poor but no one could possibly match her baking, world-renowned chef or not. 

It had taken a lot of effort to persuade the head chef. He nearly swatted her with the ladle when she told him to deliberately go against Mr. Shelby’s morning routine. “Do you think I’m stupid,” the comical mustache on his face twitched with a nervous tick that he had for sure developed while working at this manor. “N-n-no of course not, I’m sorry. These were orders directly from Mr. Shelby himself.” A little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone, she insisted to herself. Reluctantly the chef let her begin her ministrations in his kitchen, every once in a while he mumbled some incoherent advice that she doubted she would need to make such a simple country dish. 

The pastry was simple enough, it was just a scone, but instead, she stuffed the batter with bacon and cheese. She indulged herself even more by grating some more cheese on top of the scones when they were finally out of the oven.

From the corner of the kitchen, the chef was watching with seemingly hungered interest. The new smell was pleasant for everyone who passed by the kitchen, unlike the usual toast and cold ham that wafted through the room. 

She grinned from ear to ear, proud that she hadn’t forgotten one of her favorite dishes. She placed three of the scones on the plate along with his usual black coffee. The remaining scones still remained on the tray and she decided to hand out her tiny bundles of joy to the staff that orbited the kitchen while hiding one for herself. 

She even included the chef, who seemingly looked unimpressed by her cake. But later on, scarfed it down. 

Rosie knew that today Tommy had taken Charlie out for a walk with the dogs and that they would soon be returning. So she waited in his study, instead of his room. She placed the tray on his desk and waited impatiently for him to appear from beyond the foggy hills through the window. 

Rosies’ hands fidgeted from behind her back as she monitored the window for Tommy. Suddenly feeling quite nervous about whether or not he would like his surprise at all. She knew he barely ate. She hadn’t really seen him eat in front of her now that she thought of it. Something dropped in her stomach as she started to realize that this was a **very** bad idea. She adjusted the braids that crowned on her head. She had done her hair differently today, instead of pulling the front strands of her hair into pins she had braided the top of her hair into a beautiful crown, it reminded her of her mother. She hoped he would like it as much as she did. 

Suddenly she saw him appear from beyond the hill a small heard of dogs racing and barking around him and his son. 

It seemed out of place, watching Tommy with his brooding shoulders and frigid stride next to his baby boy, barely higher than his father’s knee, giggling and laughing as he held onto the two fingers of his father’s hand. So much wonder in the little boy’s stare as he scanned the morning hills. It was hard to believe they were related. 

She heard the doors slam open and dogs echoed through the hallways beside’s the study. She heard the quick patter of Charlie’s nurse as she descended the stairs and scooped him up. Tommy scorned the dogs with words that Rosie didn’t understand, possibly a gypsy spell. Immediately the dogs fled the house and out into the fields to continue their mischief. 

Then the house went silent again. Her heart began to beat faster as she waited beside the desk, immediately regretting her silly surprise. _I’m a fool, a goddamn fool._

The doors to the study opened and Rosie swallowed a yelp in surprise. He closed the door behind him and finally looked up to see her standing there in the most awkward way. 

“Rose? What are you doing here?” He looked her up and down, she was leaning slightly against the desk in a very poor attempt of covering the breakfast tray that looked different from his usual food, a cloche was keeping the food warm and obscuring his eye’s from discovering what the food was from under the metallic dome. 

“Oh uh good morning Tommy,” her eyes darted nervously for an escape from the humiliation. “I thought since you had already woken up to be with Charlie you’d prefer to eat in your study.”

“And what’s that?” He pointed a lazy finger at the tray sitting on his desk, his brow raised as he studied her further, she looked beautiful, well she always looked beautiful, but her hair was in a new look that he enjoyed since he could see more of her face. She looked nervous and now even more as he asked her about the tray. Now his curiosity had peeked. 

“Oh… this?” She bit her lip as she looked back to the tray, silently cursing herself into oblivion. “I-I think they made a mistake in the kitchen I’ll fetch you a new one in a second.” She clumsily reached for the stray, ready to make her grand escape from certain humiliation. 

Once again he struggled to not laugh at her distress, “Rose, let me see what’s under there before you send it back. Who knows, I might like it.” 

“Oh, no-no. I **really** recommend a different, more fresh batch.”

“Rose. It’s my breakfast.”

She sighed in defeat and backed away from the tray. He walked up to the table beside her, his coat barely brushing against the sleeve of her dress. He expected that she may have burned the breakfast in an attempt to make it herself or maybe she forgot the ham and there was just a piece of toast there. But he was wrong. 

He took off the lid and instead found scones, golden buttery scones that smelled like bacon. He didn’t eat much, he didn’t really like to eat at all. But this made his stomach clench with hunger. He wasn’t aware that the chef made scones like these. “Why wouldn’t you let me eat these? Was the chef not happy with what he made.” He picked one up and held it to the light like he was analyzing a prized gem. He picked off a small part of the scone and popped it in his mouth, he hummed at the buttery delight melting in his mouth. 

Rose stood there gaping at him as if he’d gone mad, she had never seen him eat and even more rare that he was complementing and clearly enjoying the scone. She wondered if he was trying to torture her with some sick game. 

“I-I thought you wouldn’t like them.” 

“Well, I’m glad I stopped you. I like these.” He sat down at his desk and took a sip from his black coffee. 

She tried to not show how happy she was, for her this was an achievement, even if he didn’t know she made the scones for him. She was just glad he enjoyed them. With that, she felt at ease and finally capable of continuing on to her other chores. She made her way to the door and smiled at him. 

“I’m relieved you liked them, Tommy… I hope to see you later,” she added shyly.

He didn’t answer with more than a hum of acknowledgment.

When the door shut behind her she skipped to the kitchen nearly forgetting all the chores that awaited her. 

〜

It was nearly late afternoon when she started getting close to finishing her chores. She was only missing cleaning the main dining room. It was possibly the worst job of them all. Despite her recognizing the beauty of the room with its rich emerald green painted walls and the fine mahogany wood, the table itself was a monstrosity. There were around 18 places at the table, and there were even a few more chairs hiding in the cellar. 

No one of the other maids offered to help her. When she asked Helen she nearly died of laughter, and she didn’t dare ask her accomplices, Peggy and Edna. She was nearly desperate enough to ask Edwin to leave the horses for the afternoon and help her with the table. But she presumed that he would also refuse, he rather shovel shit. Sadly she was alone for this chore. 

She began wiping down the chairs on the left side of the table, taking the opportunity to stay in direct contact with the evening sunlight that was pouring through that floor to ceiling windows. Strands of her escaped her braids as she got on her knees and wiped the strong wooden legs of the table. 

From the edge of the room, she heard the service door open. “Who is it?” She panted from under the table, too tired to peek from under the table to see who it was. She heard someone scrubbing the table from above. “Edwin are you finally here to help me?” She said. No one answered and finally, she gave up and looked over the table. To her surprise, she saw Frances scrubbing the top of the table opposite to her. 

“Frances?” She eyed her quizzically, she hadn’t seen much of her lately. Not since that night when Tommy kicked her out of the room.

The older woman didn’t answer, she kept scrubbing quickly and muttering under her breath. Rosie followed along and began scrubbing the top of the table as well as mimicking Frances furious scrubbing. Frances scrubbed faster and Rosie laughed and picked up the pace. 

“Frances I didn’t know there was a competition for table cleaning. I don’t think I’m at your level,” she gave a breathy laugh, already feeling a burn in her arms. 

“Frances?” She asked again. 

“Franceees! Stop scrubbing and talk to me.” She teased. 

The woman stopped abruptly and slammed her rag on to the table with a wet splat. “God damn it, Rose. Can’t you see I’ve been angry at you for the last two days!” She looked Rosie dead in the eye, her arms crossed in a condescending manner.

Rosie looked at her baffled. She had been mad at her? She had no clue. “You’ve been angry… with me?”

“Of course I am! You’re acting like a fool!” Frances complained. 

“I-I don’t-” Rose stuttered, what did she know?

“You know why you haven’t noticed that I’m absolutely furious with you? Because you’ve been following Mr. Shelby like a love-sick fool. You’ve nearly forgotten about my existence and let’s not even start with poor Edwin, you haven’t talked to him in nearly a week!” 

Was she really doing that? Had really become so enthralled with Tommy that she’d forgotten about the few people who cared for her? She was embarrassed by her childishness. “I’m sorry Frances I guess I have been a bit absent.”

“You think that’s what makes me angry? I’m not that needy, Rosie.”

Frances sighed and leaned over the table, her voice lowered but there was still fury knitted into her words, “What are you doing with Mr. Shelby, Rose.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rose tried her best to dismiss it.

“Rose. I’m not blind. You’ve been acting strange ever since he’s been on his break.” 

“Frances, I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry I’ll say it for you. You’ve also been spending a lot more time delivering his breakfast, haven’t you? I saw you, leaving the guest room 3 days ago. Running like a goddamn fool back to your room. And in that was the same day you were tangled with all of the Shelby men, drunk out of your mind. And today, you persuaded the chef to let you cook Tommy **your** favorite pastry. And worst of all I went to fetch you from your room to help with cleaning of the chimneys, guess what I found? A beautiful goose feathered blanket. Identical to the spare blankets in Mr. Shelby’s room. So tell me, Rose. What. Are. You. Doing.” She snapped. 

“Do you think if you get on his soft side he may bring you out of poverty? Rose if you need money I can lend you some but why go after the wolves.”

Rose felt her throat tense with emotion, “It’s not for money Frances.”

“Then for what?” 

Rose questioned why she had been sucked into his world so easily. She didn’t find it a simple question. 

“I care about him. A-and I know you won’t believe me but I think a part of him cares about me. At least that’s what I hope.” Frances shoulders slouched and she let out a long sigh. She walked around the table to meet her. “Sweetheart, you can’t trust him.” She shook Rosie’s shoulders, hoping that maybe she could kick some sense into her.

“You’re so young and so new to the challenges of adulthood. I can see the way you look at him, and it frightens me. You’ve have suffered more than most people ever have and I’m afraid that you will cause yourself more pain associating yourself with the likes of him. Rose. He’s a cruel man. And I’m not sure he’s keeping you as a company for the reasons you think.”

Rose tried her best to not cry but her words stung with an unbearable truth. Frances reached out and held Rosie’s hands as gently as she could. 

“You have a pure heart Rosie and he’s drawn to it like its just a novelty. You deserve someone who cares for you, someone who respects you and loves you. Edwin cares for you, don’t confuse that with whatever Tommy has told you.” She squeezed her hand

“I know he’s a not great man Frances b-but,” Rosie’s voice cracked. “I feel happy when I’m with him, he’s listened to me and he’s been so gentle with me even though he doesn’t have to.” 

Frances hugged Rose letting her head rest on her chest. Rosie hugged her back small tears escaping the corner of her eyes.

“Rosie that’s the bare minimum of what he must do. Don’t excuse him because you care for him. I see the pain he’s already caused you, and I don’t even know the half of it.” 

“I-I know you don’t agree with me, but it’s my choice and for some reason… I feel willing to take a chance. But I’d prefer to have your support, even if you try to murder me.” She giggled slightly and departed from Frances’s embrace.

Frances reached over and tucked the strand of her braid back into place. “Rose I’m not your mother and you’re a grown woman so I won’t stop you but at least be more careful. He’s a complicated person and I couldn’t stand seeing you hurt by him.” 

“I promise to you Frances that I’m taking care of myself.” 

Frances eyed clearly not sold at all with what Rosie said. “Respect yourself Rose, or no one else will. If you want him, like you say you do, you can’t just let yourself be bullied. I know you’re stronger than he could ever imagine. At least take that advice. Don’t let him get away with his lies and cruelty just because of what he makes you feel.”

“I won’t,” Rose meant that. 

Frances left her without another word. Still slightly fuming but at least a bit relieved that she had warned Rosie. 

Rosie stayed in the dining room, scrubbing away at the remaining side of the table. But what she had just spoken about stayed in her mind. _Don’t excuse him because you care for him._ She wouldn’t, Frances was right about that and she would take it at heart. She wouldn’t allow herself to treated like shit anymore at least not without a fight. 

〜

It was late at night and Rosie had finally finished her duties. She was ready for a bath and to sink into her new soft blanket that had been drifting around her thoughts all day. She had taken up some of Helen’s jobs since Helen had seemingly had more important things to do. Rose tried her best to not get mad but she was losing her edge with all the people that considered it all right to step over her. Including Tommy. She wouldn’t go out of her way to find him, if he wanted her so badly then he could just come and get her. She felt nervous at her bold steps but she wanted to keep Frances word. She was worried that if she played like this he might lose interest. Since he doesn’t really need her, and they weren’t anything even remotely official. He could get bored and just move on if he’d like. She couldn’t stop him. Maybe if it turned out that way she’d be free of him as she would finally know what actually mattered to him. He wasn’t tied to her. And neither was she. 

She walked upstairs. Undoing her braid as she went. Finally, at the top of the stairs with her hair free from her braids, she stood there contemplating for just a moment. She glanced at his bedroom door that was slightly open, the glow of a candle flickered against the door frame weakly. She wondered if he was thinking of her. She bit her lip and turned away. Decidedly, she walked towards her room. But then she heard his voice. 

“Rose?” It sounded more like a command than a question. 

She considered ignoring him. But her judgment subsided when he called her again. 

“Rose, come here.” 

She gave up quickly and walked over to his door. He stood at the frame of the door, a glass of whiskey held between the fingers of his hand by his side. 

“It quite late Rose, what are you doing working at this time of the night?” He spoke softly, the slightest bit of a rasp came from the back of his throat. His undershirt was slightly unbuttoned and the straps of his suspenders lay unfastened against his hips. 

She tried to ignore the warmth growing in her stomach by just looking at him.

Rose spoke out with a small crack in her voice, “I-I picked up some extra jobs that hadn’t been done, I’m about to rest right now.” 

“Well, I just wanted to thank you for the scones.”

“How did you know I made them,” she smiled. 

“I asked the chef if there was any left for later and he started panicking. Saying that some little maid had persuaded him to change my food to a surprise. At first, I wasn’t sure if it had been you. Sounded very bold for the little Rose but I guess your just full of surprises.” 

She blushed, “I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything, I just wanted to give you something in return of the blanket you left in my room.”

He was surprised that she felt that she needed to give him something back. He wasn’t used to that, someone just gifting him something without any alternative intention driving them. She just did to make him happy, she wasn’t even going to take credit for making them until he told her. He felt happy for a moment thinking of her invading the kitchen just to make him scones. 

“I didn’t need you giving me something in return, it was a gift, not a favor.”

“Well so were the scones,” she beamed, her eyes looking up to meet his steely eyes. 

He openly chuckled at her slyness. He closed the gap between them and kissed her gingerly. He was needy for her touch and he couldn’t help but taste her again. Rose hummed softly and placed her arms around his neck. He moved her against the frame of the door and pressed himself as close as he could manage to her body. His lips never leaving hers. He wouldn’t admit it but he just liked the way she would hold him back in the same urgent fashion that he did.

He squeezed her side making her gasp into his mouth. His hand went to grip her hair harder than he had before and she instinctively leaned her head back giving him access to the column of her throat. He placed warm kisses up and down her neck as she panted softly, her hand pulling slightly at his dark hair. He reached between the crook between her neck and jaw and bit her hard. Hard enough for her to yelp as his hand reached up to cover her mouth. He kissed that same spot, soothing it with his tongue before finally uncovering her mouth. 

He went back and connected with her lips again. Swallowing any sweet noise that escaped her throat. Suddenly he felt her slightly push away and he immediately backed away, slightly concerned that maybe he’d scared her off. 

She had a wide smile on her face, he could see a pretty little bruise forming where he bit her. He hated to admit that he liked marking her. 

“I’m sorry Tommy but I should go to my room. I haven’t rested in ages.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, his hand cupping her face. “You could _rest_ here,” he purred.

Rosie laughed under her breath at the thought of that “I-I don’t think we have the same idea of what rest is Tommy.” She kissed him once more before shimmying away from under his grasp and back towards the hallway. 

He sighed and watched her go. The strain in his pants becoming even more frustrating since he knew he was alone in bed tonight. He pathetically decided that he would be the only one satisfying himself tonight. He retreated back into his room. 

Rosie fought the urge to go back to him as she shut the door behind her. She wanted more and she knew that Tommy wanted it to. But she didn’t want him to think that she was just another woman he could just call when he needed _company_. Frances was right. He would have her the right way or he wouldn’t have her at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy what do you guys think? Rosie finally taking a bit more control over things! I love it!
> 
> As always thank you for all the comments, they are honestly what drives to continue this story. Thank you guys for all the support :)  
> Lot's of love and stay safe!


	12. “Smoking Gun”

Rosie found herself questioning why she hadn’t brought a warmer jacket as she waited in the entrance of the horse’s stables. The evening breeze had swept away the remaining fog that usually covered the fields of the countryside, leaving the plains of the large estate bare to Rosie’s wandering eyes. She shivered and tugged her shawl tighter around her body. 

She didn’t remember the last time that she had seen sunlight. She couldn’t even recollect the last time she had felt the sun on her skin. It was everlastingly grey and the air was always bitter despite it being the countryside, the smell of Birmingham seemed to surround her even if it was miles away. Maybe she wasn’t far enough from all those awful memories.

Rosie let out a shuddering breath and glanced to see if Edwin would finally appear. But her hopes were dwindling as time went by, she hadn’t managed to see him the entire week. 

For the last week, she had been keeping Frances’s promise. She had been avoiding Tommy, making him search for her instead. Of course, he hadn’t come to look for her as much as she would have liked, seemingly his pride was bigger than she thought since he struggled to pursue her back or even show interest for that matter _._ She huffed. Maybe he did only want her for the wrong reasons… _Maybe I’m wrong._ She shook her head in denial as she looked back up to the fields. 

She tried to ignore that festering thought and instead changed it to the problem at hand, the reason she had been standing there for the better part of the evening. Other than avoiding Tommy she had been searching for Edwin too. Frances was right, she hadn’t seen Edwin in a week and now it had been nearly two weeks since she’d last talked to him. She had tried all week to catch him at work but he was never there. And when she asked the other stable boys they all kept telling her that she had just missed him. So she came earlier this time but still, he was nowhere to be found. A chill ran down her spine, maybe something had happened to him. Or did Tommy tell him to stay away from her? She paced back and forth now. Her nerves started to kick in as she thought of the endless possibilities. Maybe she should check in the kitchen, he usually was trying to swipe something to eat before he took off. 

She decided she'd check the kitchen and then run back to the stables just in case he came back. The soles of her heels clicked against the cobblestone floor as she hurried back to the house. She made it to the door and glanced around once more in hopes of seeing him. In the distance, she saw a supply vehicle pull up in the roundabout of the main entrance. She stood by the door waiting for whoever was in the car. From the pilot seat, one of the stable hands came out and went to the back of the vehicle. He pulled down the trunk and out came Edwin. 

“Edwin!” She squealed out of pure excitement.

The older stablehand didn’t take notice of her hollering and looked to Edwin. “Get these oats into the barn boy. Do it before you go about with your friend.” He patted him on the shoulder before walking towards the mansion. He tipped his cap at Rosie as he made his way inside. 

“Edwin! Are you deaf?” She called again as she quickly walked over to him.

“Where have you been?” She looked up to her lanky friend. 

“I’ve been here,” he said simply. He grabbed a sack of the oats and threw it over his shoulder with ease. He turned away towards the stables. 

“Well I know you’ve _been_ here… but I haven’t seen you.” She struggled to keep up with his fast pace. She glanced at his face, his expression so serious she could hardly recognize him. 

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” 

“I guess I am.” He said sharply, clearly, he was not excited to see her. 

Rosie looked down to the floor as she trailed him in silence, _I guess no one is excited to see me lately._

Once they had reached the stables it was like she didn’t exist. He went to the back of the stables without another word and put away the oats. She felt awkward, the confidence that she had been building was cracking in the quiet tension. It was strange for there to be silence whenever they were together. “Ummm how are you, Edwin?” 

“I’m fine.”

Rosie frowned. What had she done now? Why did she always manage to ruin everything? Her chest sank. 

“What’s wrong Edwin?” She paused and waited for an answer but he simply ignored her. 

“Edwin what did I do wrong?” 

He looked up for a brief moment only to look back to the horses he was checking. 

Frustration ebbed away at her. She never thought her closest friend would ever ignore her like this. “Edwin I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what I did wrong.” She walked closer to him and placed her hand on his arm. Her eyes were pleading as she looked into his. 

“There’s no point in telling you, Rosie.” He began to walk to the entrance of the barn to grab the remaining supplies. She ran after him grabbing his arm again. “Edwin I don’t understand, please talk to me.” 

He tugged his arm away from her, and she could see the scowl forming on his face. “Damnit Rosie I didn’t think you were this naive.” 

Rosie looked at him in disbelief, she had never seen him angry and it nearly frightened her. His eyes narrowed and she took a step back. 

“Why Rosie. Why don’t you ever listen to me?” He nearly whined, his hand squeezed at the temples of his head as he tried his best to not scream. An effort that didn’t work. “You promised to me…” 

“Promised what?” 

“You promised me that you would stay away from Mr. Shelby.” He stepped away from her, disgusted with just thinking of what that man may have done to her. “I really thought you were smarter than this. Do you really think he could care about you? Rosie. You don’t matter to him, you’re just another distraction while he’s on his vacation. Nothing more than just entertainment. He’s using you! How can you not realize this!”

She wasn’t sure if she was more bitter or hurt. She decided that it was both. “You don’t know what you’re talking about Edwin! You know nothing of what has been happening so don’t you dare insult me.” She snapped. 

“You’re only insulted because I’m right! I knew it was bad news that you were going to serve him breakfast every day but I hoped that you would have some common sense. You acted weird the moment you started the job and then you disappeared on me for a week and so I asked Frances if you were alright.... and she told me everything about you and Mr. Shelby.” He looked away in a desperate attempt to keep his wits.

“Edwin you don’t understand. I c-” 

“No Rosie, I do understand. You think he wants you the way you do. You think he cares about you. That you’re an exception. But you aren’t.” 

Any trace of her anger was replaced with tears. She felt alone again. She didn’t have anyone to support her, no one to defend her, and at the moment it felt like no one cared for her either. 

“Whatever he’s made you feel is not real. It's all lies and deception so he can use you. You should know what real love is and whatever he’s shown you isn’t even remotely close to it.” 

He walked away, no longer capable of continuing talking to her. 

“But I don’t know what love is.” She said, her voice cracking. 

He stopped in his tracks. Her words pained him, he was tempted to apologize but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, not this time.

“I know that now. You can’t even see it when it’s right in front of you. And I’m tired of helping you.” She sank to the ground. Crying softly into her hands. Edwin didn’t dare look back as he walked away. 

Why was she so easy to break? She was embarrassed by her tears, embarrassed of herself. She scrawled away from the door and hid behind the bales of hay inside Hades's stall. She was tired of being torn apart and put back together. She just wanted to be whole. She wanted to be happy. Maybe she didn’t deserve it. 

She sat there crying for longer than she would have wanted. Her hair and clothes had picked up its fair share of hay and dirt but she didn’t care to brush it off. She stayed with hopes of calming herself down. 

She kept her eye’s closed and tried to concentrate on something else. She listened to the horses, their steady breaths being expelled by their mighty lungs. She listened to their hooves thud against the soft floor of the barn, crows cawed somewhere in the distance and the wind whistled against the old weary trees. She listened to the people who walked by. The clanking of heels and shoes on stone. From the outside of the barn, she felt footsteps approaching. Petrified of the idea of Edwin finding her crying, she tucked herself farther back into the hay. The back entrance opened and she held her tongue. 

The footsteps were closing in and she closed her eyes tightly. The stall door opened and she felt someone walk inside. She prayed that she wouldn’t be seen. But of course, the footsteps got closer until they were right in front of her. She hugged herself closer and waited for the worst. Whoever was in front of her crouched down, she felt a warm breath fan over her hands. A hand reached out to hold her hand and she pulled away. “Edwin please I don’t want your apology,” she whispered. 

“Rose, it’s me.” She immediately knew who it was from the rough echo in his voice.

Her eyes shot open to looking directly into Tommy’s intense stare. 

“Tommy!” 

She reached out to hug him so quickly he nearly fell back from the surprise. He sat back on the floor and pulled her into his lap. He held her tight against his chest. Rosie rested her head on his shoulder and let herself drink in his smell. She let the last of the tears fall as he held her. His breath came out softly as he reached down to brush away the hair covering her face. He handled her like a porcelain doll as he comforted her in silence. A long moment passed before either of them dared to speak. 

He spoke softly, “why is it that whenever I find you it seems like you’re about to explode.”

“Because I am.” She sighed, “how did you know I was here.” 

He tilted his head so he could look at her. His expression was slightly warmer than it usually was. “I didn’t know. I was only here to get my horse and I found you here hiding in his stall.” 

“Oh. You’re right this is Hades stall.” 

“Hades?” 

“Yeah, I thought the name suited him rather nicely, do you like it?” She expected that he would dismiss it. After all, it was his horse. 

Tommy glanced at the black horse who was at the end of the stall. His eyes froze for a moment in thought. “It isn’t a bad name. I don’t mind it at all.” He looked back at her and she smiled at his approval. For a moment he forgot his train of thought, he was lost in the warmth of her touch and the softness in her voice. How had he managed to fall so low, he didn’t know, but it was starting to bother him less as he knew her more. 

He snapped out of his trance and finally took in the situation. They were sitting on the floor of the horse's stall. He rather not be seen like this. Slowly he let her go and stood up, only to pull her up with him. The horse neighed softly behind them, gently seeking their attention. Tommy looked back to the horse or now _Hades,_ his lips parted as he thought of what he would do next. He just wanted to take out the horse, find some peace. He pondered if he could just leave, let her sort whatever was wrong on her own. But deep inside his mind, he knew that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to make sure Rose was alright or maybe he just needed company. 

“I’ll leave if you want Tommy, I understand that you had other things planned,” Rose spoke meekly, the hands that had been resting on his chest were retracted and she brushed away the hay that had tangled in her dress. 

“No Rose you can stay… I’m going to take a stroll through the fields,” he sucked in a breath. “ I would appreciate your company.” He spoke robotically as if it nearly hurt him to invite her out so formally. It was absurd that he struggled to invite her out like normal people. 

Rosie's brows furrowed immediately considering it a joke but as she looked him in the eye she could tell that he was being courteous or at least he was trying to be.

“You don’t have to be polite Tommy, I’m alright.” She didn’t want to be another person's burden. 

He sighed through his nose, “Well I insist that you do come, Rose.” 

There was no point in arguing with him, she had already learned that the hard way. “Alright. I’ll come.” She waited outside of the stables as he readied Hades. It was probably a very bad idea to be seen with him publicly. Everyone who works at the manor was bound to find out after this. But at this point did it matter? The only people she cared about already knew anyway, and they weren’t happy about it at all. 

He appeared beside her already mounted on Hades' back. As she looked up to them she noticed how similar they seemed, there was a mystique to them. There was something so menacing but alluring about them, she couldn’t help but stare for a moment too long.

Tommy extended his hand to her and she stared at it doubtfully. 

“Did you change your mind?”

She looked around. It was time she started thinking for herself. 

“No.”

She took his hand. 

He allowed himself a smile once she was finally sitting in front of him. His heels lightly tapped against the ribs of the mighty horse and sent them off walking toward the front of the estate. His arms wrapped around her gently as he steered Hades to the left and into the roundabout of the main entrance. He took note of the car stationed there and the boy taking out supplies, the stablehand or Edwin as she called him. He glared at him as he unloaded more oats and supplies. As Edwin unloaded the last of the supplies and he looked up for a moment and caught sight of Rosie and Mr. Shelby riding Hades down the trail. His brows furrowed as he watched Mr. Shelby hold onto Rose possessively as their eyes met. The young boy tried his best to hold his ground but quickly looked away under the pressure of Tommy’s stare. Rose, on the other hand, didn’t even dare to look at Edwin. Tommy took notice of her discomfort and kicked his heels into Hades again, making the horse trot away from Edwin and out the main gate. 

Rose let herself lean back into Tommy’s chest as they moved beyond the main road of the estate. She sought after his warmth as the bitter wind of the evening bit at her cheeks and nose. She wanted nothing more than to stay like this, in his company as they watched the scenery in content silence. They passed the stone walls that made the perimeter of the main grounds and into the rougher fields beyond the Arrow House. Rose looked back to see that the manor was barely visible now amongst the fog. 

“Where are we going?” She inquired over her shoulder. 

“You’ll see soon enough,” he spoke beside her ear, making a shiver run down her spine. 

Rose tilted her head upwards so she could get a good look at him. A mischievous glint flashed over his icy eyes as he looked down at her. “Should I be concerned about where you’re taking me, _Mr. Shelby?_ ” She humored. 

“I doubt you’re really concerned if I’m the one taking you,” He said smugly. 

She chuckled lightly as she looked back to the fields. The land was barren, patchy grass and dark soil and a line of trees far beyond the horizon. It was the same trees she had walked towards all those weeks ago. She remembered how cold she had been and how lonely she was until she had discovered Tommy sitting alone in the outskirts of the forest. It crossed her mind that he may come there by himself a lot more than anyone knew. That he dealt with his pain in solitary, distant from everyone and hidden far away on the edge of his land. His solitude was sacred to him and she had the honor of sharing it with him as they rode on the back of Hades.

The horse slowed down as they entered the forest, pockets of light filtered through the thicket of the branches and onto them. Rose smiled as she watched the light dance on her skin and Hades mane. As she thought of it now the forest seemed a lot more welcoming with company. Tommy held back a grin that had crept upon him as he watched her gaze at the forest with intrigue. Farther away there was an opening among the trees from which sunlight radiated. He steered Hades towards the opening, Rosie leaned forward as she wanted to get an eyeful of where Tommy was finally taking her to. 

They passed through the opening and into the bright light. It took a moment for Rosie’s eyes to adjust to the sunlight but once she did her breath was taken away.

She looked around in awe, tears of joy threatening to escape.

“It’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAH I know another cliffhanger, I can't help it! The next chapter is gonnna be full of fluff and some smut so be ready! ;) 
> 
> Once again your comments are what drive me to continue! So please leave a comment if ya'll want to I always want to know how I can improve
> 
> \- I know I haven't posted in a while, I apologize for that. These times are difficult for all of us and sometimes it's just better to take a step back. So I hope all of you are taking care of yourselfs.


	13. “Unspoken Paradise”

It was an unprecedented beauty. All kinds of flowers emerged in batches all throughout the expanse of land in the center of the forest. Rosie’s eye’s twinkled in delight, her large green eyes darted around the patch of land not knowing what to look at first. Not wasting a precious moment she slid off the horse quickly. She looked down at her feet. Her sturdy heels sunk into the soft grass and she immediately felt the urge to feel the ground with her feet. She quickly made work of her shoes with excitement, forgetting entirely that Tommy was watching her silently from the horse. The shoes flung in every which direction as she made contact with the soft grass. Her feet ground into the grass experimentally, she never knew that grass was meant to be this soft. Everywhere else in Birmingham the grass was coarse and charred from the bitter cold, here it felt like she was in an entirely different world far away from her ordinary one. 

“It’s so soft!” She jumped in her spot. 

“I never thought grass would bring you this much excitement.” Tommy appeared beside her. 

Her smile was contagious as she turned up to look at him. “It’s just so beautiful! Thank you for taking me here.” She hugged his side tightly, he remained still as she held to him. 

She let go of him and looked back to the land. There were so many kinds of flowers she couldn’t even begin to name all of them. The bright colors almost felt foreign to her, she wanted to smell them, sketch them, pick them out, and keep them in her vanity for good memory. Near the center, there was a small pond no bigger than a small boat. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever set foot in natural water,” she pondered. “Let’s get in!” 

He raised his eyebrow at her. Was she joking? They weren’t children anymore. “Why would we do that?” He grumbled. 

“Well, why not? The water looks really nice and clean. Please join me. It’s just your feet.” 

He sighed, “I can watch you from here… make sure you don’t drown.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the cigarette he’d been craving. 

Rosie gave in to her excitement and skipped towards the pond. She sat at the edge of the water and slid her dress above her knee. Slowly she peeled off her nylon socks, again unaware of Tommy’s wandering eyes on her exposed skin. The water rippled gently as her toe made contact with the water, she shuddered slightly with the feeling of the cold water. Rosie sucked in a breath and plunged into the water. “It’s freezing!” She giggled. The water almost reached her mid-thigh as she stood in the water, she hiked up her dress higher to avoid soaking her dress more. 

Tommy watched her as she waded through the water. It was pathetic that seeing the bottom half of her legs was enough to excite him, when was the last time that he had to wait so long to be able to fuck a woman? There weren't many women he had waited for… was she really worth his time? He rolled his eyes as Rosie tripped and nearly sank completely into the water. He chuckled lightly under his breath. Maybe she was worth the wait. 

Rosie laughed at her misfortune as she tried to regain her balance. She kept her eyes trained on her feet, searching for anything special among the smooth stones. More than ten minutes had passed when she felt something drop into the water. Immediately she turned around, her hair wiping into her face as she nearly squealed in delight. 

“You changed your mind!” She chirped. Tommy stood there stiffly, his hands tucked behind his back as he tried to not show how startled he was by the cold water. 

“Isn’t it nice? The water is so clear I can see my toes!” 

He regretted getting into the fucking pond. 

The sky had cleared up since they had arrived allowing the smallest bit of sunlight to peek through, the wind was still cold but they had the consolation that the sun was out. 

“I don’t know if I would call this nice but at least the weather seems to be in our favor.” 

He lifted his leg folding his pants higher up his knee, he did not incline on actually getting wet. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t hide the discomfort that lingered in his face as he kept his lips in a tight line, and his brows slightly furrowed. 

“What, are you cold?” She smiled slyly. 

“No”

He was freezing. 

“So you wouldn’t mind… if I do this!” 

Her hands plunged into the water and threw a handful of water at his chest. She laughed heartily as she made her escape to the edge of the pool. She turned back excitedly. He hadn’t moved an inch and by the state of his glare, she knew he wasn’t amused.

“Rose stop being a child,” he grumbled.

She swayed in her place lifting water with the tips of her fingers. “I’m not being a child, I'm just having fun! You should try having fun every once in a while. It's good for you.” 

“We have  _ a very _ different view of what’s fun, Rose.” 

She gave a giddy smile. “Then what do you do for fun?” 

“A lot of things.”

She couldn’t help feel her stomach flutter as he stepped closer. “Like what?” She said innocently. She rolled her lip between her teeth as he got closer to her.

“I like to drink.” 

“Well, we all know that,” she laughed nervously. 

“I sometimes enjoy music,” he rebutted. “Only sometimes?” Her voice was cautious. 

He looked away for a moment, seemingly caught in a distant memory. “There are some songs that I like to relisten.”

“What else do you like?”

He was now only a few feet away. He pulled back briskly some of the hair that had spilled onto his forehead from the water she had thrown. “I like to ride my horses.” He was now hovering over her small frame. His hand reached to grab her arm, slowly tracing the pad of his thumb over her skin. 

She looked up to him and smiled nervously, “what else?”

“I like to win,” he squeezed her arm. 

“That’s it?” 

“No… there are other things.” He saw her lean in slightly, her lips part gently as she waited. But he had other plans. His foot hooked with the back of hers and with his free hand he plunged her deep into the icy water of the pond. “Tommy!” She squealed. He chuckled as she watched her scramble. She sprang up immediately, hissing as her muscles surrendered to the cold. Her body was drenched from head to toe, her hair plastered to her face as she glared at him. 

“Is it too cold?” He spoke smoothly, he was taking too much pleasure in making her squirm.

Rose pried her hair away from her face. “It's freezing! I barely got you wet. Why did you have to dunk me in the water?” She shivered. “Can you at least hold me so I can warm up”

“Rose, I’m not stupid you’re not getting near me like that.”

He made his way to the end of the pond and began pulling himself out of the water. But Rosie was determined to take her revenge. She sprang in his direction before he could react, her arms wrapped around his waist and with the little strength she had, she pulled Tommy down into the water. He fell on his side and into the water with a thundering splash. 

It was only then that Rosie realized that she had possibly made a horrible mistake. 

He rose slowly. His shoulders were tense and his hands curled into fits. Rosie’s eyes widened and she wondered if she should make a run for it. “I’m so so s-orry Tommy, I-I didn’t think it through.” She scurried for something to say. “I’ll help you dry! T-the sun is out so it’ll be fast-” Her mouth clamped up when her eyes landed on his face. His dark hair had fallen over his forehead like a veil that obscured any of the brightness in his eyes. The man’s face contorted into a grimace as his lips pulled back from his teeth, sending chills down her spine. 

“Do you ever know when to keep your mouth shut?” 

“I’m sorry.” She shivered.

He stepped right in front of her. His hand raised to rest on the side of her neck, his thumb tracing the line of her soft jaw. “Are you?” He raised an eyebrow at her mockingly. 

“Yes.”

“You’re going to have to compensate me for this.”

His lips connected with hers before she could answer. The kiss was urgent as he nipped at her soft lips. Despite the cold that shook through his body, he couldn’t care less now that he had her in his arms. She sighed and pressed herself closer to him, she had been waiting so long for him to kiss her and she had no plans of letting go. Much to her dismay, he stopped. 

“Let’s get out of this fucking water.” He spoke before biting the shell of her ear softly. 

With ease, he hoisted her up against his body as her legs wrapped around his waist. Her lips found a place in the crook of his neck as he made his way to the end of the pond. 

Urgently he laid her down on the grass floor, his lips immediately connecting with hers once more. His hands traveled the length of her leg, squeezing her thighs earnestly as if they were the softest things he had ever touched. She whimpered slightly underneath him as his hand reached her center and briefly pressed down on her sensitive clit before traveling upward to her breasts. She could feel him harden against the inside of her thigh as he kneaded her breasts with both of his hands. “Rose let me unbutton your dress.” He purred, one of his fingers toyed with the top button of her dress. 

She looked at him nervously, “what are you going to do?”

Tommy let a comforting smile escape his lips, he kissed her softly with reassurance. “I promise you, you’ll enjoy it.” 

His hands were skilled… or maybe he had too much practice as the buttons of her dress popped open one by one. All of her body was exposed to him now and he couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of her. Beautiful. In the cold breeze of the evening, her skin formed goosebumps, and her nipples perked from under her brassiere. His hand slid under her undergarment and he began rolling her sensitive nipples between his fingers. 

In a moment of desperation, he tugged down on her brassiere completely uncovering both of her breasts. Delicately he lowered himself to her chest, his warm breath fanning over her as he finally latched his lips over her breast. “Tommy!” She gasped, the feeling all too overwhelming and new to her. Rosie curved her back as his teeth grazed against her sensitive nipple, his strong arm wrapped around her waist tightly as she arched into his mouth. He left a kiss on the top of her breast before giving the other one the same torturous treatment. Rosie gasped underneath him, her hips bucking needily as she felt herself get unbearably wet between her legs. The assault on her chest seemingly had no end in sight and her desperation grew larger.

“Please Tommy. I need more.” 

He looked up with a carnal look in his eye. His index finger hooked with the side of her panties, gradually, he slid them off her hips and down her legs. Suddenly Rosie noticed how naked she was, barely anything covering her skin as they laid on the grass beside the pond. He positioned himself on his side, his face resting in the crook of her neck as he toyed with her aching nub, he whispered sweet promises onto her skin as he touched her expertly. Rosie whined softly, her hips moving with his hand as he did rapid circles on her most intimate area. 

A gasp left her mouth when she felt a single digit slide inside of her. It was a feeling she had never felt before, the pressure inside of her so painfully good she saw sparks behind her eyes. “You’re taking it so well Rosie.” He purred, his lips meanwhile were kissing and biting relentlessly the tender spot of her neck absent-mindedly. A second finger slid in and she cried out nearly pulling away from Tommy’s grasp as she felt her core stretch and jots of pain fly through her body. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, it’s just a little bit of pain for a whole lot of pleasure.”

He slowed down, experimentally prodigy and stretching her, feeling her velvety insides with his middle and index fingers. Once she calmed down in his grasp he picked up the pace, he pressed up into her walls relentlessly, making her do the most heavenly moans he had ever heard. He groaned as she pulsed around his fingers erratically signaling how close she was to release. His teeth sank in her neck, his mouth hotter than fire as he finished her off. Rosie nearly yelled upon release, her hands tearing up the soft grass beneath them. Tommy continued to pump his fingers into her wantonly, as she rode out her orgasm, her mouth slack from the ecstasy that came in waves over her body and warmed her skin. 

She could feel her heartbeat pulse through her body as she finally came down from the high of her climax. Her eyes eventually wandered back to him. He had retracted his fingers from her finally. They glistened with her slickness and he studied them for a moment before popping them into his mouth and nearly humming at the sweetness of her taste. Rose was surprised that he would find such enjoyment from the way she tasted, it seemed so unusual to her that anyone would be interested in that. He took notice of her curiosity and glanced at her with mischief glinting in his eyes. Both of his arms went back to either side of her body as he kissed her again. She could taste herself off of him as he kissed her languidly, his tongue grazing her bottom lip before tasting her mouth. 

The kiss was warm and effortless as he tried to savor her for a moment longer before rolling off. As they laid there they both admired the sky for a moment. The breeze was fresh as it passed through the forest, the sound of the trees rustling was the only sound heard other than their soft panting. She felt cold again, and subtly she pulled up her bloomers and buttoned a few buttons of her dress. 

Tommy turned on his side to look at her, “already dressing?”

She kept buttoning her dress, small shivers shaking her body again. “I’m very cold. I was already cold before we arrived.” There was a moment of hesitation before Tommy reached over for his coat and jacket that he had left at the edge of the pond with his shoes. 

“Use this.” Rosie blushed lightly as she openly accepted the extra layers of warmth. Once she was all wrapped up, she moved in closer until she lay beside him with her head resting on his chest. Although Tommy didn’t mention it he appreciated that she was trying to share some warmth, it was taking all his effort to not shiver uncontrollably. 

Rosie's mind began to wander for a moment, recollecting everything they had just done. He had brightened her day for once, he had comforted her when she needed it the most. It was strange, she felt special for the first time in years. When was the last time someone had cared for her like this? It had been too long. She wanted to repay him. But she didn’t know how. 

“I wish you would let me return the favor.” She spoke out, “It seems like all the attention is on me and I want to care for you, the same way as you have for me… but I don't know how to. You can show me how. I-I want you to.”

“You want me to teach you… right now?”

She perched herself on her arms so she could look at him in the eye. “Yes”

He bit his lip considering her offer for a moment. Oh, how he desperately wanted her to touch him. But right now? No. He had self-control or at least he was trying to. Was it so pathetic that he wanted her in his bed? In the warmth of his sheets where they could lay comfortably afterward. Where they could stay all night pleasuring each other without the discomfort of nature's cold. He could feel the strain in his trousers but he decided that he would rather wait, only wait until the night of course. He doubted he would wait longer than that. He had promised that if he would take her, he would take her right. And he was a man of his word.

“Not here. I think it would be best if we head back. The sun will set soon and we’ll freeze in these clothes.”

His hand reached up to the back of her neck pulling her in for another kiss. It was a kiss that promised more in the mere future. “And then tonight… I’ll see you in my bedroom.” His voice was deeper as he spoke. Rosie's face lit up for a moment, nerves and excitement mixing in the pit of her stomach as she wondered what he had planned for her now. 

They both fixed themselves up in content silence. She quickly picked up as many wildflowers as she could before trying to fix up her damp hair but it made little difference in changing her appearance, she still looked like she got dunked in pond water. On the other hand, Tommy managed to look put-together despite his soaked clothes, his pants straightened and his hair neatly combed back with his hands. 

The light had started to dim as they walked back to Hades. “Tommy one more thing.”

He paused from mounting Hades and looked back. 

“Thank you, for this. I had a great time.”

“No need to thank me, Rose,” he said courtly. With that, they mounted the horse and were off to where they came from. And in Tommy’s embrace Rosie forgot completely of any sadness she had felt from the day, she didn’t feel alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love the idea of this chapter! So much needed fluff :) This is now my second time writing smut and I'm not sure if this one was better or worse than the last time... anywho! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think! I always appreciate some constructive criticism.
> 
> \- Thank you guys for all the support, love y'all!


	14. “Cold Baths and Warm Reunions”

It hadn’t occurred to Tommy that he had a meeting with Polly that same evening. In fact, the only reason why he was reminded, was because he saw his aunt staring at them with a scowl on her face as they passed by the window of his office. Luckily, Rosie had not noticed Polly’s famous glare since was too busy sleeping in the confines of his coat. He sighed as he turned the corner in the direction of the stables, he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of this from Polly, being late was not something she forgave easily.

A chill shook through him as the wind picked up the fallen leaves around them. It was now night and his soaked clothes were near to cold for him to hide his discomfort. He dismounted Hades and kept one hand supporting Rosie’s weight as she remained asleep. For a moment he let frustration flow through him as he looked at Rose. Not only was he late to see Polly because of her, but also, he was freezing and the only piece of dry clothing was wrapped around her puny little form. But he would be lying if he didn’t admit that he had enjoyed their time together. 

Hesitantly he cupped her face that was flush from the cold. “Rose,” he spoke gently, a part of him felt guilty for waking. She stirred slightly and her eyes fluttered open as she took in her surroundings. 

“Did I fall asleep?” She hummed softly. 

“Clearly you did.”

Slowly she slid off Hades, balancing herself with Tommy’s held out arm. Her hands rubbed her puffy eyes as she finally started to regain consciousness. “It’s already night?” Her eyes widened at the realization. “I-I should have been working. Frances is going to kill this time, no doubt about it.”

Tommy leaned in for a chaste kiss, silencing her on the spot. “If she has any complaints she can speak with me.” He kissed her again. “After all, you are not slacking off, you are just working more _closely_ with your boss.” He punctuated with a lingering kiss on the side of her jaw. Rose opened her mouth to say something but closed it, clearly, she was caught off guard by his touch and his bold words. He pulled away and looked down at her with a sly look on his features. He enjoyed shocking her. Seeing how her eye’s widened and her lips parted as she was left dumbfounded in her tracks brought him a crooked sense of amusement. 

“I have somewhere I need to be.” He snapped back to his current situation. Swiftly he took his coat from her shoulders and swung it over his back before she could process it. Instantly she felt the chill of the night, her arms wrapped around herself in an attempt to keep warm. 

“Alright, I guess I’ll head inside and wash off the pond water before Frances barges into my quarters.” She hated to admit but she was disappointed they couldn’t be together longer. 

Tommy walked away with urgency in his pace, not taking the time to even give her a proper goodbye. “I hope I’ll be seeing you later tonight, Rose.” It sounded more of a command than wishful thinking. He didn’t glance back as he disappeared beyond the stable doors. 

* * *

There was an unnerving silence in his office. Polly sat across from his desk, not a single word had left her painted lips since Tommy had arrived. Seemingly she was letting the silence speak for itself. He took a long, needy drink from his whiskey. He wasn’t one to back down from a silent duel and neither was Polly, which meant they would sit in silence for as long as possible until someone finally cracked. His aunt sighed unamused, she took a small puff from her cigarette and then flicked her silver cigarette holder over the ashtray.

“Do I always have to spark the conversation?” She said displeasingly. 

Tommy let his shoulders relax feeling the warmth of the alcohol begin to warm his bones. “I wasn’t the one who had insisted on checking up on me, on a Thursday night.”

She hummed softly, swaying one of her crossed legs. Her eyes scanned his office, looking for any chink in his facade. Seeing that there were no papers on his desk she concluded that he truly had been honest to his word and had been resting for the past month. She went back to look at him. His hair was sodden and unkempt, his clothes were dark with dampness as they clung to his body. 

She raised her brow at him nearly in surprise. “What are you doing with that pretty little maid?” 

“Nothing of importance to you.” He dismissed. 

“I didn’t expect this from you. You’ve gotten yourself so bored you felt the need to mess with the workers. I doubt she could refuse you even if she wanted to.” She chuckled as she took another drag from her silver holder. “She looks naive. I wonder what you told her to make her trust you… it seems like she also has an effect on you since you look like this” She pointed at his untidy state with her cigarette. 

Tommy didn’t care to answer her sharp criticism. Instead, he looked at his whiskey glass swirling it with his wrist. 

“How old is she Tommy?” She spoke with a weary voice.

“It’s not important.” Another long silence crept into the room. 

“Tommy, I understand that I can’t dictate your personal life but what about Lizzie. She told me. I know she’s pregnant with your child and you have not even allowed her to visit you. I know that your relationship with her is complicated but you cannot just abandon her if she’s bearing your child.” She looked at him with sorrow in her warm eyes, keenly aware that she was talking of something delicate even for him. “Maybe it’s time you got married again, to Lizzie. Give Charlie a mother and your new child a complete family.” 

He stiffened in his seat. It was still too soon. The feeling of _her_ death was still heavy in his heart. It had been three years since Grace’s passing but it still felt so new. He still hadn’t accepted it. He didn’t think he ever would. The thought of marrying Lizzie felt off. He wasn’t sure if he even felt love towards her or if he just craved her when he searched for stability. He doubted marrying her would bring him such peace. It concerned him that maybe no one would. 

“Just because I got her pregnant does it mean I owe her my hand in marriage. I wouldn’t feed her any hopes of marriage, Polly.” He spoke with no remorse. 

Polly frowned lightly, despite his cold demeanor he always presented himself with she knew there was more to it. She knew him best and it was obvious to her that Tommy hadn’t moved on. Since Grace’s death, his mind had declined, it worried her that there was no one who could help him now. He might as well be a dead man walking. 

“Well, how are you, Tommy? I talked with your head maid, Frances. She told me that you've been seen wandering the fields in the middle of the night. That you’ve been nearly delirious when you’ve gone out fishing or hunting. You’ve been hearing things that aren’t there, haven’t you?” 

Was it that obvious? Did the whole mansion know he was going mad? Seemingly Rose hadn’t noticed but that was because he had been careful with showing his weakness to her. 

“I’m doing alright Polly. I’ll probably be back working in a month or two.”

“You need more rest. Forget about work for as long as you need. I could talk to a doctor if you need it.” 

“I’m not meant to rest in this lifetime Polly, I’ve learned to accept that. I don’t think I can take any more of this _vacation_ ” He spoke solemnly. 

She huffed out a breath in annoyance. He was always so difficult. “Alright. But if it does get worse I don’t care what you say I’m talking to a doctor.” They sat there in silence for a moment longer. The tension in the air simmered in the quiet office, the only sound was the fire crackling in the chimney.

“Is there anything else you’re here to comment on? Other than my personal life.”

“Yes,” She leaned over in her chair and grabbed the leather briefcase that was resting by her feet. The silver clasp popped open with her neatly manicured fingers and she pulled out a small stack of papers. “I wanted to revise this monthly report of our income from The Shelby Company Limited. I found a few anomalies in the report that I thought you should see.” She plopped the papers on his desk. 

Relieved that they were finally changing the subject he downed the rest of his whiskey in one swig, immediately serving himself more. “This sounds a little bit more like my expertise.” He picked up the papers and eyed them. 

“Let’s get to work.”

* * *

Rosie stood by the doors of Tommy’s office. She was tired, very tired and her hair was damp from the quick bath she had taken. It took all her strength to not plop into her bed afterward. But regardless of her situation with him, she didn’t want him to think she was using it as an excuse to slack off. She still had a job to keep and Rose refused to let her guard down and lose her only source of income. 

She yawned into her palm. It seemed that their meeting had run long since she had managed to bathe and rush back to cater them, only to have to stand there an hour. She was nervous about what waited for her later at night. Had she promised him too much? From the insinuation in his voice, it felt like she had. Regardless of those fears she still found herself desiring to see him. For him to touch her again, teach her more, she wanted more. She was choosing to go to him. 

Inside the office, she heard a chair pull back and a pair of heels click against the hardwood floor. A murmur of farewells buzzed, followed by the door being opened by Tommy. Rose immediately straightened up and did her best attempt to hide the exhaustion in her eyes. Polly, Tommy’s second in command came out of the room. As always she looked intimidating, she wore a velvety emerald green coat that swayed as she walked. She slid on her black gloves and gave the hallway a quick look. 

Polly’s eyes landed on Rosie. The young maids throat clamping up as the woman studied her with prying eyes. The look Polly gave was disapproving and something else Rosie couldn't quite place. She glanced back at Tommy and spoke cooly, “Tommy, Lizzie is going to come by sometime this week. I gave her permission to come so don’t make it harder than it already is.” She eyed Rosie once more before sauntering over to the exit of the house. 

Tommy walked with her up to the entrance silently. “Goodbye, Aunt Pol.” 

“Take care of yourself, Tommy. I’ll be back in a few weeks to visit you.” She looked at him, a small bit of worry shadowing her face. She walked to her car and let her chauffeur finally drive her away. 

Rosie took heed of what Polly said. _Lizzie. Coming this week._ The way that Polly spoke insinuated that Lizzie was coming for more than just a friendly visit. Rosie was unaware of why she may be coming but she knew it wouldn’t be anything pleasant for her or for Tommy. She did her best to ignore the undesirable feeling of jealousy that was crawling into her thoughts. She had no right to feel jealous; she reassured herself. 

“I see that you were able to bathe and get into some warm clothes.”

Rose's thoughts were interrupted by his rough voice. He stood in front of her, a little too close for a casual conversation.

“Ah yes. I feel a lot better after that warm bath.”

“Hmmph, I could use a bath myself.” He yearned to get out of his damp clothes and into some warm water. 

“Do you need me to run you a bath?” She spoke innocently, unaware of what she was accidentally insinuating. 

His eyes lit up for a moment, contemplating what it may lead to. “Yes. It’s better if you run it now. I want to get out of these clothes as soon as I can. I’ll accompany upstairs.” He spoke with elusiveness in his voice. He led the way up the stairs, Rose following shortly behind. Her heartbeat quickened as they got closer to his bedroom. What had she gotten herself into now?

* * *

She felt like a fool as she sat on a lounge chair outside Tommy’s bathing room. It was embarrassing that she was waiting for him to get out of the bath. So far nothing had happened. He let her run his bath, patiently waiting for her as he finished another cigarette and glass of whiskey. And when the bath was drawn he simply walked in before she could say anything. He shut the door behind her, inadvertently kicking her out of the bathroom. And then he told her to _wait_ on his bed. 

It was like she was a puppy waiting for his attention. She hadn’t had the courage to sit on his bed just yet. Instead, she sat nervously on the very edge of the chair beside the window. Rose listened closely to his movements from the other room. Listening to the water splash and run down his body, she tried her best to not imagine what he looked like on the other side of the door. He’d be out in any minute now. She glanced back to the bed. She bit her lip as she pondered whether or not she should lay on it. It looked soft and oh so inviting. Knowing that she didn’t have much time to think of it she went on instinct. _Fuck it_. She sucked in a breath and quickly made her way towards the bed. She sunk into the bed experimentally. A small sigh left her lips as she rested back into the stack of pillows. “So bloody soft.” Her hands stroked the silky sheets, nestling further into the plush bed. “I should have laid here sooner.” She nearly purred. His bed was even nicer than the guest bedrooms.

Her eyes began to feel heavy when she suddenly saw the bathroom door swing open. If she wasn’t nervous before she really was now. Tommy stood there in just his white boxers. She didn’t know if she was supposed to look away or not. Unwillingly she gawked at him, her eyes not knowing where to settle with all the exposed skin he was showing. Eventually, she looked away, a harsh blush nearly covering her entire face. 

“You look pretty comfortable on my bed.” He teased. 

“Y-yes. Its, it's very soft.”

He couldn’t help but openly chuckle as she tried to look everywhere but at him. He passed the towel over his shoulders once more and chucked it over a chair. Small beads of water still trickled from his hair and parts of his chest. He didn’t mind displaying himself. And it was certainly worth it if she looked as flustered as she was now. “Could you look at me Rose?” He commanded.

Her eyes snapped back to him, trying her best to keep eye contact. She only held her gaze for a moment before looking away again as another wave of heat crept on her face. He lingered closer until he was right above her. “Does it bother you that I’m undressed?” His voice feigned being hurt.

“No.” She squeaked.

This time he laughed, catching Rose off guard with his strange behavior. His laugh was hollow nearly just the movement of a laugh but no sound came from it, but that was how he laughed nevertheless. She had never seen him laugh before. 

He leaned so that his lips were nearly ghosting hers. He could feel her breathing become shallow as she waited. She smelled fresh from her bath, her soap left her smelling sweet like the scent of vanilla. It was inviting him to taste her. 

“You don't need to be afraid Rose”

His lips landed on hers softly. They kissed slowly, sensually, as he enjoyed the smell that enveloped her. Tommy lifted himself onto the bed making Rosie move up as he crawled over her. He kissed harder, making her delirious with his hands that roamed over her body, hungrily squeezing anywhere he could. His teeth dragged against her soft lips, tugging and sucking at her bottom lip until she gasped. He took advantage of her parted lips and slid in his tongue into her mouth. He groaned softly as he tasted her, feeling the velvety inside of her cheek and basking in the vibrations of her whimpers. Tommy wanted more; he wanted to taste more intimately. He wanted to feel her nails rake over his back as he ate her out for hours on end. He needed her. 

Rosie passed her hand over his damp hair, pulling him impossibly closer to her body. She could feel the warmth growing in her stomach, the wetness in between her legs. With him, she felt unleashed. She felt alive and she wanted to discover more. Boldly she departed from his lips and peppered his sharp jaw with kisses and eventually sucked at the tender spot of his neck. Tommy’s breath hitched as his hands gripped the sheets beside her head. Her pride sparked at hearing the effect she had on him, she had decided now. She was ready. It had been dwelling in her mind for weeks now. But now she was certain she wanted to explore more and wanted to explore with him. 

Her heart picked up as she nudged him slightly. He looked up to her, his eyes lidded with lust. 

She spoke carefully, almost afraid that he might laugh at her. She gulped down her nerves and spoke; “Tommy, teach me more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha I knowww it's another cliffhanger. I didn't have enough space in this chapter to write what they were about to do ;)  
> \- Don't worry I'm gonna do ya'll justice in the next chapter, so don't worry!  
> Once again I love to read your comments! I try to respond to nearly all of them so please don't hesitate to write something in the comments! Thank ya'll for all the support <3

**Author's Note:**

> I know that probably no one is going to read this but I am up to suggestions! You guys can leave a comments and I will listen to you guys. 
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction so it might be a bit wonky but enjoy, you might need to wait a few chapters for the good stuff ;)
> 
> I am going to hell for writting this but we can go together.


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